Muffin’s Fun Time! #19

Hi, hi, hi to everyone out there!😻 It’s me, Muffin! I back again, did anyone miss me? I was on little vacation for a few days looking for more fun funnies to share with all of you. I hope you will like them all, even the groaners, they can be funny too. My human go shopping on Monday like he always do and he say big alarm go off when he go inside. I ask him what he do. He say he not do anything. But you say alarm go off when you go into store. He say no, alarm go off after he go in store. What is difference between when you go in store and after you go in store? He say about 5 years. Then he start laughing. I look at him with half closed eyes, then I dig claws in back of his leg. He stop laughing.😹 Anyway, here is funnies for today…

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While sitting at a counter having doughnuts and coffee at a ‘quick stop’ service station, two brothers were startled to see a man step up to the cashier, holding a gun and demanding all his money. Not being satisfied with that, he made all the customers line up and proceeded to take all their valuables: watches, billfolds, etc.

As he made his way from person to person in the line, the two brothers stood waiting at the end of the line. One brother carefully reached into his pocket, pulling out some cash and slipping it into his brother’s hand.

“What’s that?” his brother whispered.

“That’s the $50 I owe you.” he replied.

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A lot of women say their husband never listens to them. I am proud to say I have never heard my wife say that.

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YOU MAY BE A FARMER IF…

~ An overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation.

~ You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.

~ You sometimes rinse off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife lets you in the house.

~ You’ve never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.

~ You have used baling wire to attach a license plate.

~ You remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, and yields for 10 years back, but not your wife’s birthday.

~ You borrow gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.

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I put my weight scale in the bathroom corner and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

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The symphony musicians had little confidence in the person brought in to be their new conductor.

Their fears were realized at the very first rehearsal. The cymbalist, realizing that the conductor did not know what he was doing, angrily clashed his instruments together during a delicate, soft passage.

The music stopped. The conductor, highly agitated, looked angrily around the orchestra, demanding, “Who did that? Who did that?” 

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I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes…for some strange reason she hugged me.

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A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues.   

A spokesperson was quoted as saying, “We have absolutely nothing to go on.”

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My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down. I told her it’s because I can’t stand doing them.

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That all for today everyone, hope you all have great week!!

Muffin. 😽

©2025 Muffin McLeod.