For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi, hi everyone out there in blogging land!😻 Wow, it so smoky out there today, not can see very far, even with my good eyes. And smoke smell so strong it hurt little Muffin’s nose. And my human go around apartment sneezing so loud it scare fur right off me!🙀 He bend down to rub my head and sneeze right in my face, almost turn head right around in circle! So I go sleep somewhere else. Not going to sleep on his lap and let him blow all my fur off with all that sneezing. Then he cough, cough too, very hard on delicate ears like mine. I go sleep on my bed in closet. Nice and quiet in there. Sigh. Here is funnies today…
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A collection of documentation statements actually found on patient’s charts during a recent review of medical records;
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in daycare three times a week.
She is numb from her toes down.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
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Jacob, age 85, and Rebecca, age 79, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding. On the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests that they go in. He addresses the man behind the counter:
“Are you the owner?”
The pharmacist answers, “Yes.”
Jacob: “Do you sell heart medication?”
Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”
Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”
Pharmacist: “All kinds.”
Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism?”
Pharmacist: “Definitely.”
Jacob: “How about Viagra?”
Pharmacist: “Of course.”
Jacob: “Medicine for memory?”
Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety.”
Jacob: “What about vitamins and sleeping pills?”
Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”
Jacob: “Perfect! We’d like to register here for our wedding gifts.”
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I pulled a muscle digging for gold. No worries though, it’s just a miner injury.
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A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear: no car was to enter unless it had a special military sticker on the windshield.
A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, “Halt, who goes there?”
The corporal, who was driving, said, “General Wheeler.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t let you through. You have to have a military sticker on your windshield.” The general said, “Drive on!”
The sentry replied, “Hold it! Hold it! You cannot come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a military sticker.”
The general repeated, “I’m telling you, son, drive on!”
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, “General Sir, I’m new at this. Do I shoot you or your driver?”
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That all for today everyone, I hope you have great week!
Muffin. 😽
©2025 Muffin McLeod.
Muffin, you’ve shared another humor-filled collection. I was covered with stitches after reading about the engaged couple and their registered wedding gifts. I hope you and the Human can enjoy a break from the smoke.
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hehehe!😹 Me happy you liked the funnies human Richard! Yep, hope smoke go away soon. Have nicest day to you!😺
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Me happy you get chuckles human Sheree!😹 Have nicest day!😺
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