Muffin’s Fun Time! #23

Hi, hi to everyone!😻 It me, Muffin, I back with more fun funnies for you to enjoy! My human go shopping this morning and buy me lots of food. I think he buy food for himself too. I ask him what funny thing happen this morning. He say nothing. I look at him and swish my tail. That not very nice I tell him, you are supposed to do funny things when you go out. So get with the program, do something funny. He say how about I squirt water on you with spray bottle. I look at him and swish my tail even more. I say to him, if you squirt water at me, you will not like how day will end for you! I think he get message. hehehe!😹 Anyway, here is funnies for today…

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First man: “I hear the First National Bank is looking for a new teller.”

Second man: “I thought they just hired a new teller last week.”

First man: “Right, that’s the one they’re looking for.”

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I got fired from my job because I kept asking the customers whether they would prefer “smoking or non-smoking?” Apparently, I should have been asking, “cremation or burial?”

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WAYS TO ANNOY PEOPLE;

~ Leave the photocopier set to “reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper, 99 copies.”

~ Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

~ Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”

~ Sing along at the opera.

~ Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”

~ Staple papers in the middle of the page.

~ Honk and wave to strangers.

~ Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

~ TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.

~ Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”

~ Go to a poetry recital and after each poem ask why it doesn’t rhyme.

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Here’s the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting a tomato in a fruit salad.

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A DE FUNNY

If lawyers are disbarred
and clergymen defrocked,

doesn’t it follow that. . .

electricians could be delighted,
musicians denoted,
cowboys deranged,
models deposed,
and dry cleaners depressed?

Wouldn’t you expect laundry workers to decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted?

Likewise, bedmakers might be debunked,
baseball players debased,
bulldozer operators degraded,
organ donors delivered,
software engineers detested, and
underwear manufacturers debriefed.

On a more positive note, perhaps we can hope politicians will someday be devoted.

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Why did the Scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in the field.

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That is all for today everyone! Me hope you enjoyed funnies for today, have wonderful day to all of you!

Muffin. 😽

©2025 Muffin McLeod.