Muffin’s Funnies! #37

Hi everyone and Happy Monday to all my favorite human people!😻 Also, Meow, meow to all my favorite cat people too! It nice and sunny day, but cold. Not nice for sitting on balcony room today. Sunshine is nice, but air is much too cold. I tell my human to turn up heat on balcony room. He say can’t do that because balcony room is outside. I look at him. I tell him maybe he make bonfire. He say that not allowed. I tell him to buy heater to put out there to make it warmer. He say that not work because it out in open, heat just go away. I tell him to put up blanket to keep heat inside, but he say then there is no sunshine. I look at him. Now we have new look in here, red spots on carpet.😹🙄 Oh well, here is funnies for today…

======

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

> Don’t turn it on yet, it’s not quite ready.

> Step back a bit, I can’t get you in the picture.

> Don’t worry, it’s not used any more.

> Listen, I’m taking a course in chemistry, I know what I’m doing.

> Yes, of course the elastic is strong enough.

> I wonder what happens if these two wires touch.

> I thought it tasted rather strange.

> You have driven this before, haven’t you?

> And that one over there, the red flashing one, what does that mean?

> It’s okay, I saw them do it on TV.

======

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just googling how to do things.

======

A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens being great creatures, and as such they had the right to go where they wanted.

The man was having no luck keeping the chickens out of his flower beds, and he had tried everything.

Two weeks later, on a visit a friend noticed his flower beds were doing great. The flowers were beginning to bloom.

So the friend asked him how he managed to keep the birds away. “How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?”

“One night I hid half a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. I wasn’t bothered after that.”

======

I’m proud to announce that I have completed the first item on my bucket list. I have the bucket.

======

A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.

======

WORDS YOU WON’T FIND IN THE DICTIONARY

Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding unwise people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.

Decaflon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Dopelar effect (n.) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.

======

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

======

That all for today everyone, hope you all have a very nicest week!

Muffin. 😽 ©2025 Muffin McLeod.