Muffin’s Funnies! #39

Hi, hi everyone! 😻 I back again with more fun funnies and maybe some good groaners too! My human still groaning too. He have bad cold still, he have it for 6 days now, he cough so loud it hurts my little ears, so it hard to sleep close to him. He keep waking me up, like right now. I not able to sleep. But I be nice to him while he sick and I not bite him. But once he better again, then there might be lots of biting to do, have to keep up with schedule for exercise purposes. 😹 Anyway, here is funnies for today!

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One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.

She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”

The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t, dear,” she said. “I have to sleep with daddy.”

A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: “The big sissy.”

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On the other hand, you have different fingers.

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Census Taker: “How many children do you have?”

Woman: “Four.”

Census Taker: “May I have their names, please?”

Woman: “Eenee, Meenee, Minee and George.”

Census Taker: “Okay, that’s fine. But may I ask why you named your fourth child George?”

Woman: “Because we didn’t want any Moe.”

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Okay, so what’s the speed of dark?

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My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’80’s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the kitchen.

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A state trooper stopped a Congressman for going 15 miles over the speed limit.

After he handed him a ticket, the Congressman asked, “Don’t you give out warnings?”

“Yes, sir,” he replied. “They’re all up and down the road. They say, ‘Speed Limit 65.'”

====== A young salesperson peeped into the office of someone who looked like a sales manager, muttered something, then started walking away. After retreating a little he seemed to change his mind and headed back to the door — where after some hesitation, he started to back away again. The sales manager, feeling sorry for the young man, and surprised that he was so badly trained, called him in.

“You’re a salesperson aren’t you? What are you selling?”

“Sir … uh … yes … I’m a salesman. I’m sorry to bother you. I was selling insurance, but I’m sure you don’t want any. Sorry to have wasted your time.”

Feeling sorry for the young bungler, the sales manager bought two policies to give the young salesman some confidence and then started teaching him about selling. He said: “You should have different pre-planned approaches for different kinds of—”

“But I do, sir,” the young salesman interrupted, “the one I just used is my planned approach for sales managers. It always works. Thank you!”

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Even if you’ve been fishing for 3 hours and haven’t gotten anything except poison ivy and a sunburn, you’re still better off than the worm.

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As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought dogs are easily amused. Then I realized I was watching a dog chasing his tail.

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That all for today, see you next time! Have very nice week to all of you!

Muffin. 😽 ©2025 Steve McLeod.