Muffin’s Funnies! #42

Hi, hi everyone and a big Meow! 😻 Me hope everyone of my readers having good Monday day.. My human kinda not feeling so great today, so I keep this part short and get into funnies right away!

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A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn and took his portable keyboard along. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides.

When he finished he said, in farewell, “I hope you get better.”

One elderly gentleman replied, “I hope you get better, too.”

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It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions while a woman rushed to help him. As she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, “It’s all right honey, I’ve had a course in first aid.”

The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man’s pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration. At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, “When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m already here.”

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After returning from a fishing trip with her husband, a wife confessed to her neighbor:

“I did everything all wrong again today — I talked too much and too loud. I used the wrong bait. I reeled in too soon and, worst of all, I caught more fish than he did.”

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It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult. (this one sound like my human😹)

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A guy bought a new fridge, so, he put the old fridge in his front yard with a sign saying: “Free to good home, You want it — you take it.”   

For three days the fridge sat there. So he changed the sign to read: “Fridge for sale $50.”

That night someone stole it.

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Billy Brown decided it was time to buy a new house, so he decided to sell his old house and put the matter in a real estate agent’s hands.

The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading.

After Bill read it, he turned to the agent and asked, “Does my house have everything your ad says it does?”

The agent said, “It certainly does. Why do you ask?”

Bill replied, “Cancel the sale. It’s exactly what I’m looking for.”

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I finally watched the documentary about clocks. It was about time.

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Returning from a trip to visit my grandmother in California, I was stopped by a state trooper in Kansas for exceeding the speed limit. Grateful to have received a warning instead of a ticket, I gave him a small bag of my grandmother’s delicious chocolate-chip cookies and proceeded on my way.

Later, I was stopped by another trooper. “What have I done?” I asked.

“Nothing,” the trooper said, smiling. “I heard you were passing out great chocolate-chip cookies.”

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Years ago I was fitted with a neck brace. I’ve never looked back since.

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That all for today everyone. I hope you all have very nice week this week!

Muffin. 😽 ©2025 Muffin McLeod.