Muffin’s Funnies! #43

Hi, hi to all of you on this sunny, cloudy Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday in the middle of the week day! 😻 My human got whole thing mixed up this week. I tell him this supposed to be done on Monday day, but does he do it on Monday day? NO! So he say sorry and going to do it on Tuesday day. Does he do it on Tuesday day? NO! He say day go by too fast and he too busy with other things. What other things? He get stuck in bedroom closet digging out Christmas decorations. Oh, it Christmas already? I not get any cards yet, how it could be Christmas if I not get any cards? He say lots of time yet, Christmas still weeks away yet. Then why you dig out Christmas decorations? Because Christmas almost here and need to get busy decorating. I swish tail a few times. 😾 My humans eyes get big. 😱 Soon he run to bathroom to get bandages. Today he do my funnies post. I like when we have those discussions, they get results. hehehehe!😹

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MIND GAMES DOGS PLAY WITH THEIR HUMANS
Part 2

6. When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by.

7. Make your own rules. Don’t always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.

8. Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don’t greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you. (Don’t reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears).

9. When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door. This works especially good in the winter.

10. Wake up one hour before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive them nuts!)

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The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children’s books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a “Contract” for returning the books on time.

Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the librarian, giving her his name as he did so.

The librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust.

Before the librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, “That other librarian we had could write.”

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What’s worse than a box full of deadly spiders? A box that WAS full of deadly spiders.

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COFFEE: A person who is coughed upon.

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What do you call a row of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare line.

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I went shopping today in Walmart and was behind a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He had his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, cookies, all sorts of things.

The granddad is saying in a calm, controlled voice: “Easy, William, we won’t be long… easy, boy.”

Another outburst followed, and I heard the granddad say again: “It’s okay, William. Just a couple more minutes and we’ll be out of here. Hang in there, boy.”

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart. Granddad still stays cool: “William, William, relax buddy, don’t get upset. We’ll be home in five minutes, stay cool, William.”

I was seriously impressed, so I followed them out to the parking lot. As he was loading the groceries and the boy into the car, I said, “It’s none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don’t know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure. No matter how loud and disruptive little William was. He is very lucky to have you as his granddad.”

“Thanks,” said the Granddad. “But I am William. The spoiled brat’s name is Kevin.”

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That all for today everyone, I hope all of you have a very nice day!

Muffin. 😽 ©2025 Muffin McLeod.