Muffin’s Funnies! #46

Hi, hi to everyone and a big Meow too! 😻 I glad you all back again to read my funny funnies and sometimes groaning funnies too. Sometime groaning funnies are the funniest funnies of all funnies. My human still not doing things right when he go shopping. Today he shop again like every Monday, but he not do anything funny. He not drop anything, he not break anything, he not make big mess, I mean, why he bother to go shopping if he not do any of these things? He very strange at times. Nice, but strange human. Anyway, here is funnies for today.

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FIVE BEST THINGS TO SAY IF YOU GET CAUGHT SLEEPING AT YOUR DESK

NUMBER 5: “They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen.”

NUMBER 4: “This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time-management course you sent me to.”

NUMBER 3: “Whew! Guess I left the top off the glue. You probably got here just in time!”

NUMBER 2: “Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?”

NUMBER 1: (Raising your head slowly) “…Amen”

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I’ve got stained glass windows in our house. Stupid pigeons.

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I once swallowed a book of synonyms. It gave me the thesaurus throat I’ve ever had!

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An accordion player is driving home late one night after playing a concert. He’s tired and hungry so he stops at an all-night diner for a bite to eat.

Halfway through his meal he realizes that although he locked his car doors, his accordion is in the back seat, in plain sight!

He rushes out to his vehicle but he is too late. The windows are already smashed and someone has thrown in two more accordions.

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Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.

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I’ve seen traffic jams so bad the only way to change lanes was to buy the car driving next to you.

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Father: I finally won a battle in the never-ending war between parents and children.

Mother: That I’d like to see.

Father: Take a look.

Mother: Well, I’ll be! That’s our son out there, actually mowing the lawn! How in the world did you ever manage that?

Father: He wanted to borrow the car, and I told him I’d lost keys in the overgrown grass!

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Most things in life — other than clothes — are easier to get into than to get out of.

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That is all for today everyone, I hope you all have very nicest week!

Muffin. 😽 ©2025 Muffin McLeod