Saturday Stories, Funny Times! #3

Greetings once again everyone! Happy Saturday! Well, we are getting closer to Christmas with all of it’s busy times with family and friends. Muffin will have her normal Funnies post on Monday after missing last Monday. Plus, she is planning a special Funnies post for Christmas Day, if you find yourself needing a bit of a break to relax for a few minutes that day. I will do something special for that day too. Now, for some more funny times with my dad.

When I was in my teens, my back was still bad enough that I wasn’t supposed to lift heavy weights, but we needed a bag of bird seed. “The 50 pound bag is cheapest,” I said. “That’s why I’m here,” said dad smiling. He picked up this bag of wild bird seed to put it in the cart, but, as he lifted it higher, the bottom of the bag ripped open. The entire bag emptied onto the floor! The look on dad’s face was amazing!

A selection of winter pics from my old walking path to the river.

These seeds are small, round and hard and they rolled right down the aisle in both directions, and not just a few of them, but lots of them. A lady at the one end of the aisle must have been wearing smooth bottom shoes and she kept going, “Oh, oh, oh, oh”, as she stepped on these small, round seeds. Dad looked her way, then back at me, but I was gone. “How do you get out to the car so fast?” he asked. “As I said before, practice,” I explained, and I laughed loud and long.

I went back in and bought the bird seed, one of the workers who was cleaning up the mess dad made, put a bag in the cart. “Someone made a mess I see,” I said to the man. “Yeah, and he just said someone made a mess in this aisle,” said the worker, “but I’m sure it was him.” Not to be outdone, one time while I was in a store walking along past the toys, I spotted a large truck. I figured it was plastic and picked it up.

Turned out to be metal and the bottom of the truck fell off, landing on the floor with a loud crash! I quickly picked it up and put it back together, sort of, and onto the shelf, then quickly left. A store employee came walking along, obviously to check on that noise, but I was gone. Practice.

Another time dad was supposed to pick up some paper towels, among other things, and the store had stacked them up quite high in a special display in the aisle. Why do stores insist on doing such things? That’s an accident waiting to happen. Especially with dad around. He went over to that stack of paper towels and I told him to be extra careful. He just looked back at me and shook his head while at the same time grabbing one of these packages.

Well, that was it, down came that nice display with one package hitting dad on the head and knocking his glasses off. He loses those glasses a lot. “I will get them for you,” I said. “No, stay away,” he said, “you will just break them.” Just after he said that there was a crunch. Dad could not see very well without those glasses, and he stepped on them, breaking them in half. “I told you to be extra careful,” I said. “Bonehead,” was all dad said.

When we met up with mom, she just shook her head and told dad he should be more careful. That got dad doing his fake hysterical laugh again which made me laugh again too. Loud and long. We were outside by this time. Mom always said that dad and I were twins and both of us were crazy. Not sure why. Anyway, that’s all for today, I hope you all enjoy your weekend and God bless!

Steve and Muffin. ©2025 Steve McLeod.