Muffin’s Funnies! #47

Hi, hi to everyone out there in blogging country! 😻 A big Meow to all my cat followers too! 😺 Ohhh, my human go shopping this morning and finally something funny happen. I let him tell it for you. “I went out for my usual Monday shopping and needed some more potting soil so I can repot a couple of plants. The soil I wanted was at the back of this rather deep shelf. Naturally. It’s never at the front like the cheap stuff. I don’t like the cheap potting soil, just turns into a hard clump. Anyway, I grabbed one of the bags that I wanted and pulled on it causing it to land with quite a thud onto the cheaper soil. That caused the bottom of the bag on the cheaper soil to split wide open and sending a cloud of potting soil shooting right into my face, onto my jacket and onto the floor! Is that even possible? I could just imagine seeing myself with this cloud of soil blasting right at me and I started laughing. 😂 Naturally. It could only happen to me.”🙄 There we go, my human finally back to normal again! Wheeeeeeee!!😹😹

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Dear Santa, I can explain.

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Dear Santa, before I try to explain myself, how much do you already know?

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Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Forget it, I’ll just buy my own stuff.

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FRUITCAKE RECIPE

1. Go to the crafts store.

2. Purchase one or more bags of dried fruit, some plaster of paris, brown paint and a disposable cake pan.

3. Return home.

4. Unwrap the dried fruit, carefully folding the wrapper inside-out and placing it at the bottom of your trash can. Better yet, send it through your personal paper shredder and use it for insulation in the attic.

5. Mix the plaster of paris with water and pour into the disposable cake pan. Place dried fruit on top, gently pushing in so it looks “baked” in the “batter.” Let dry.

6. Take your “fruitcake” out of the disposable cake pan.

7. Cover the top, bottom and sides with brown paint, avoiding the fruit.

8. Wrap your “fruitcake” in festive, colored saran wrap and finish with a bow. I like using red wrap because it gives a warm glow to the “fruitcake.”

9. Give your “fruitcake” to someone you want to impress. When they lift it, they’ll say, “Wow! You must have made a really rich fruitcake!” Don’t forget to smile and say, “Oh, its Paris-style fruitcake.”

10. Don’t worry about someone trying to eat your fruitcake. Nobody actually eats fruitcake … that’s just a rumor. Just so you know, the dried fruit won’t go “bad” because it has the same preservatives as Twinkies, which have a shelf-life of about 237 years.

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That all for today, but I be back again on Christmas day with more fun funnies for when you need a break from all the wonderful chaos!

Have great week, Merry Christmas to you from me, Muffin! 😻🎄❄️❄️

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