Steve`s Country
For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Tuesday’s Laughter. #5
Good afternoon everyone! It is cloudy today and the temperature is on the rise, slowly, very slowly, but by tomorrow we should be above freezing once again. Not by much, but at least it will be better than the last few days of cold. Well, today is our time for a few chuckles, giggles and perhaps some outright laughter, and maybe a groan or two tossed in the mix as well. So, let’s get started…
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TRUTHS ABOUT CHILDREN
– A young child is a noise with dirt on it.
– An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
– A child will not spill on a dirty floor.
– Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
– If you have trouble getting your children’s attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
– Avenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your children.
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It’s not a cat it’s…
> A small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist.
> A wildlife control expert impersonator.
> An un-programmable animal.
> A hair relocation expert.
> A treat-seeking missile.
> A lap-warmer with a built-in buzzer.
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I’m going to donate these bags of old clothes to Goodwill, but first I’m going to drive around with them in my trunk for 4 months.
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A guy had to ask his neighbor for help getting his new sofa inside the apartment because it got stuck in the door.
After about twenty minutes of vigorous pushing and maneuvering, the guy pants, “I think we’ll have to call it a day. There’s no way we’re getting it inside.”
The neighbor looks at him slowly, “Wait, INSIDE?”
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A man was overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, repeat this process for two weeks and the next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds,” the doctor said.
When the man returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 20 pounds.
“That’s amazing!” the doctor said, “did you follow my instructions?”
The man nodded. “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to pass out that third day.”
“From hunger, you mean?”
“No, from skipping.”
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If you do not like my musical puns, you have my symphony.
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That’s it for today everyone, I hope you got a laugh or two and maybe a groan as well. Have a great week and God bless!
Steve. ©2026 Steve McLeod.
Steve`s Country 
Thanks Steve. I needed to stockpile a few laughs so these came in handy. The scene with moving the sofa reminded me when I had to remove a sleeper-sofa from our second floor apartment. Working by myself, I slid it onto our deck through a sliding glass door. After checking the ground below anyone, I managed to push the sofa over the railing.
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