Tuesday’s Laughter. #11.

Good afternoon everyone! Here it is, May 5th, it is cloudy with a temperature of 32F (0C) in the afternoon. Plus there is a fairly strong NW wind as well. And periodically there are snowflakes falling from those clouds. But then, yesterday there was more than just snowflakes, at times it was snowing, a lot. Fortunately the snow melted as it landed on the ground. It was just warm enough for that to happen. Hard to believe this is May, feels more like early April. Oh well, that’s spring here in the north, we never know what is coming next. Anyway, here is some humor to get us laughing, chuckling, giggling or groaning, to help warm us up!

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Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

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A pre-birth class was aimed at couples who already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this:

“Some parents,” she said, “tell the older child, ‘We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.’ But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, ‘Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.’?”

One of the women spoke up immediately. “Does she cook?”

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People blame things on the previous generations because they don’t like the only alternative.

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An elderly couple decided they just spent too much time and energy complaining about all their aches and pains.

“Let’s agree to not say a word about our ailments,” suggested the wife. “We’ll talk about something else or say nothing at all.”

“Great idea!” replied the husband.

Two months later, they got a message from Alexa. “Alexa is wondering if you are both OK. For the past two months we have picked up no verbal communication in your household.”

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The dating site says this guy has a corner office with a view of the whole city; he drives a $600,000 vehicle; and he’s paid to travel. Turns out he’s a bus driver.

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Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say, “Edna, I’d like to ride in that helicopter.”

Edna always replied, “I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.”

One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said, “Edna, I’m 85 years old. If I don’t ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.”

To this, Edna replied, “Buddy, that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks.”

The pilot overheard the couple and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal. I’ll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won’t charge you a penny! But if you say one word it’s fifty dollars.”

Buddy and Edna agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of crazy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, trying to elicit even a peep, but still not a word!

When they landed, the pilot turned to Buddy and said, “That’s amazing, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn’t. I am impressed!”

Buddy replied, “Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, but you know, fifty bucks is fifty bucks!”

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There was a businesswoman who had just completed a huge development project for an obscenely rich investor.

When she was leaving the investor’s office he offered her diamonds, rubies and a silver-plated luxury car, but she declined.

The investor insisted, so she said that she just started to golf and maybe a set of golf clubs would be nice.

A few weeks later she received a message from him: “So far I have bought you three golf clubs. I hope you aren’t disappointed that only two of them have swimming pools.”

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They say an elephant never forgets — but how much does an elephant really have to remember?

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There it is for today everyone, I hope you enjoy some of these funnies! Have a great week and God bless! Steve. 😃 ©2026 Steve McLeod.