For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Good morning everyone and welcome back to a little humor from our friend Grover! Poor Grover does not like cold and snow, he is a smart bird, so he decided to fly south with all of his friends. But before he left, he gave me some jokes to share with all of you today. I am not sure what we will do next week, but I will think of something. I hope. Anyway, let us see what Grover has for us today.
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My husband works as a service technician for a large exterminating company.
One of the rules of the company is that he has to confirm each appointment by phone the night before his service call to that household.
One evening he made such a call, and when a man answered the phone, he said, “Hi, this is Gary from A to Z Pest Control Company. Your wife phoned us.”
There was a long silence, and then my husband heard the man on the other end say, “Honey, it’s for you….someone wants to talk to you about your relatives.”
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If you don’t know where you’re going, you’re never lost.
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“Johnny, where’s your homework?” Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.
“My dog ate it,” was his solemn response.
“Johnny, I’ve been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?”
“It’s true, Miss Martin, I swear it is,” insisted Johnny. “I had to smear it with honey, but I finally got him to eat it.”
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The time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement? 1 bananosecond
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The best way to get ahead is to use the one you’ve got.
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“So tell me, Mrs. Farris,” asked the interviewer, “have you any other skills you think might be worth mentioning?”
“Actually, yes,” said the applicant modestly. “Last year I had two short stories published in national magazines, and I finished my novel.”
“Very impressive,” he commented, “but I was thinking of skills you could apply during office hours.”
Mrs. Smith explained brightly, “Oh, that was during office hours.”
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Woke up at 5:00 a.m.
Completed my 8k run.
Came home and made a vegetable smoothie.
Sorry, I don’t remember the rest of the dream.
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I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
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Well, there we have it for today. Grover said he would see us next spring and he told me that every time he thought of me, he would laugh. I am not sure what he meant by that. Anyway, have a great Monday and God bless!
Steve, Muffin and Grover.
©2022 Steve McLeod.
“I am on my way home,” said Alonzo, “I come out this way each week for business in town and stop to check on Mandi. It is good to know you are here watching her. Tell her I was here, and I will try to catch her next week.” Then off he went in a hurry. He was driving a very small car, and Sigurbjorn got the license number. “That just seems too coincidental to me,” said Sky. “I agree,” said Kristina, “he shows up right after Steve disappears.”
Sigurbjorn called Annelie to check the license and let her know that Muffin and I had disappeared. She did not like the sound of that, and she also did not like the coincidence. Meanwhile… Meow,meow.=Nice you to drop in for visit. “Very funny Muffin,” I said, “remember, you dropped down here first.” Meow,meow.=Me know, it very amber racing. “Um, you mean, embarrassing,” I said. Meow,meow?=That what I just say, you hit head maybe?
“Ha, ha,” I said, “I need to get my flashlight out of my backpack. Rats, it is broken, wait, I have my mini flashlight in here too.” Meow,meow.=Oh look, there 3 skinny’s in here. We have party now. “Maybe you hit your head,” I said, chuckling. Meow,meow.=They not find way out, we not find way out, soon we be skinny too. Then we be ghost, always knew we be ghost one day.
“This is a deep hole,” I said, “no wonder I hurt so much. My back is killing me. This looks like an old well perhaps, round and deep.” Meow,meow.=Skinny’s not look well, maybe laugh themselves to pieces. “You sure you are okay?” I ask her, “all this humor being stuck in this hole, is not like you.” Meow,meow.=Not get out of hole in ground, we die laughing maybe. “We will get out,” I said, “did you turn on your tracker?” I asked her. Meow,meow.=Me try, but it not work, maybe broke when fall.
“Hmm, I turned mine on, but I do not know if it works or not,” I said, “I must talk to Mr. B about that later.” Meow,meow?=How you talk to him, rattle bones? “Very funny,” I said again, “but at least we know where the secret passage is located, so there must be a way out of here.” Muffin looks at the skeletons again. Meow,meow?=Hear that skinny bones? There way out so why you get skinny?
I just had to laugh over that one. Meow,meow.=I knew it, you hit head, now you go crazy on me, maybe this help. Chomp! AAAAAAAAA!!!! “Um, why did you do that?” I asked rubbing my leg. Meow,meow.=Help get you think straight again, not want to get skinny. “Hey, look, an X on that rock,” I said excitedly. Meow,meow?=Why someone put X on rock at bottom of well? I pushed it, but nothing happened. A big sigh from Muffin.
I tried pushing the rock under it and a rock on the other side of the well opened. Out we went. I had to crawl since it was just a round, kind of pipe, only made from rocks. It closed up again once we were inside. At the end another rock opened by itself, opening into a small room. “Well, look at this,” I said, “someone is obviously staying in here, at least sometimes. It had electricity too, so I turned on a lamp. There was a bed, stove, table and 3 chairs, meaning that more than one person was in here at times.
There were nice fingerprints on a couple of glasses by the sink. I lifted the prints to take with me. There was nothing else in the room that was helpful. Meanwhile… “Hey, I thought I had a signal from Steve,” said Kristina, “but it only beeped twice.” Sky and Sigurbjorn checked, but nothing had shown up on their phones. “Perhaps something is blocking the signal,” said Sky, sounding very worried. “You sound rather worried about your husband,” said Kristina. Sky blushed a bit. “Well, that is kind of natural,” she said quietly. “That is very true,” said Sigurbjorn, “we will find him, so no more worrying.” Sky smiled.
Back to us… “Well, there must be a door in here,” I said, “I am sure they do not come in the way we did, but I am sure that someone did that deliberately, hoping to get rid of us. Hmm, this chair is stuck on something.” I try to turn it straight and a door opens. “Hmm, that was too easy,” I said. Meow,meow.=Who cares, we go before it close again. Off we went up some stairs which turned and kept going up, and up.
Then they stopped at a narrow passage which we followed to the end. There was a big, iron handle at the end which I turned, and the door opened to…our bedroom! This is interesting. I called down the hall and the girls came running up. Sky threw herself at me, nearly knocking me over. They told me about Alonzo arriving after we had disappeared. Then I checked the fingerprints. Alonzo and Mandi!
To Be Continued.
©2022 Steve McLeod.