I look around, the other Baldwin is standing at the bottom of the stairs now. “It’s up to you to get this finished Steve,” he said, “make sure John gets what he deserves. And make him talk.” “I will do that Baldwin,” I said. Then I remembered that one of John’s men had taken that first guard’s gun to hide it somewhere so it would look like Kat shot an unarmed man. And I’m sure he probably called the police by now. But what can we do? Try to run somewhere and hide out for a while? That wouldn’t help, it would just make us look guilty.

But if we stay here, we will be arrested for sure. Hmm, neither choice is a good one, there has to be something better to do. Right then we could hear the sirens coming up from the gate. “Now what?”, asked Kat. “We fight our way out,” I said, “we can’t let them catch us.” “Are you crazy Steve?”, she said, “we can’t fight the police!” “There’s no other way right now,” I said, “so don’t argue, just get ready.” “One of you on this side of the entry, the other on that side,” said Baldwin, and he disappeared.

We got in position, Muffin was with me and M.C. went with Kat. Finally the police came rushing into the large entry. “Watch out!”, yelled John, “they’re going to shoot you!” The police turned around and looked, but they could see no one. “Who is going to shoot us?”, asked the senior officer. “They are, those PI’s,” said John, but as he looked, he also could not see us anymore. He was very perplexed now. “Look,” he said, “my name is John Chandler, I’m a PI too and I’m trying to stop them from taking over the world.” “I thought you were Baldwin, you look like him,” said the senior officer.

“No, no, I’m just posing as Baldwin to stop him and these PI’s from their diabolical scheme to rule the world,” said John, “Baldwin’s sister killed him with poison, she worked for me, I had to do it to stop Baldwin. And I hired a man to shoot Steve’s wife Kat. They are both dead.” Then Kat and I come walking down the stairs and into the room. “I’m Steve,” I said, “and this is my wife Kat.” “No, no!”, yelled John, “that’s not his wife, his wife is dead, that’s his wife’s twin, they are identical twins!” “Oh,” said the officer, “so you are the twin sister of Steve’s wife?”

“No,” said Kat, “we are not related at all.” “Yes, that’s right,” said John, “they are not related, they are just identical twins, but their eyes are different colors, Baldwin’s sister Calanthe told me that’s how to tell them apart.” “And this Calanthe worked for you, the one you hired to kill Baldwin?”, asked the officer. “Yes,” said John, “that’s right, and I know that Baldwin and Kat are dead, I had the graves dug up and we checked the bodies to make sure, and the Kat in the grave wasn’t wearing contacts, so I know it was the real Kat, this woman is a fake, the identical twin to Kat.”

“Oh,” said the officer, “let me get this straight now. You hired a woman to kill Baldwin, and hired a man to kill Kat, the wife of this man here. And this is the identical twin of his wife, but they are not related. Plus you illegally opened graves and touched the dead bodies to make sure the people were really dead.” “Yes, yes,” said John, “I had to do it to stop these people, don’t you see?” “Oh yes,” said the officer, “I understand now.” “And be careful, watch his cats, they must be here somewhere, they are very dangerous,” said John, “they use slingshots and shoot people with muffins that kill.”

“Oh, I see,” said the officer, “now we have cats that can use slingshots and kill people with muffins. Uh, what kind of muffins, whole wheat, bran, maybe chocolate chip?” “Are you crazy?”, yelled John, “I’m always surrounded with idiots! And his cats also talk, so they are probably listening to us right now, they understand human language and can speak several languages too.” “Oh my,” said the officer, “they do sound very dangerous. I will make sure my men look for them right away.”

“Just look around here,” said John, “I was shot with a muffin, it hit me on my back and now I can’t move. They are hard like a rock those muffins, they kill people with them.” “Oh, that’s not good,” said the officer, “those must be very stale muffins to be so hard like that.” “You are an idiot!”, yelled John, “you’re all idiots! I’m telling you how it is, now go find those cats, you’ll understand then. Wait, there they are now, check their backpacks, look at their slingshots, you’ll see!”

To Be Continued.

©2021 Steve McLeod.