Training Your Human. Part 1.

Hello to all my faithful readers!  Wow, it is so hard to believe that people all over the world like to read my little posts!  Thank you everyone!  Now, let’s get to this new post.  This is an important one.  My human might disagree with me on some points  but facts are facts.  He just doesn’t listen so well sometimes.  One day I’m meowing ever so nicely and running to the door because it’s a nice day.  And I want the door open so I can watch the chipmunks.Checker This is what my human says; “Does Muffin want some food?  I’ll get you something to eat right away.”  NO, Muffin doesn’t want food, Muffin wants the door open. “Come get some food Muffin”, says my human.  I don’t want FOOD, I want the door open.  I’m standing by the door meowing, how hard is it to understand?  My human comes over to me and pets me saying, “I gave you some nice fresh food”.  I don’t want food!  CHOMP!  “AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!  Bandages, bandages!”  My human always says that.

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Feed them good, make them fat, get them ready for the cat! (by Muffin).

I run back to the door.  He comes out and opens the door for me.  “Why didn’t you say so?”  I did, you were not listening.  Sigh.  Another day I want to play.  “Does Muffin want some food?  I’ll get you some right away.”  NO, Muffin doesn’t want to eat.  Muffin wants to play!  “I’m getting you nice food”, says my human.  Not food, I want to play, can’t you see me hitting my favorite pink camouflage ping pong ball over to you?  “Food is ready”, says my human.  I want to play!  CHOMP!  “AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!  Bandages, bandages!”  Then he comes back out with these funny things on his feet.  It’s hard not to laugh at him.  Then he plays with me.  Seems like it would have been easier to do that first.  Sigh.IMG_1013 Another time I want food, I’m hungry.  And I meow nicely rubbing against his legs.  “Oh, does Muffin want the door open?”  “I’ll open the door for you.”  And he does.  I just look at his feet swishing my tail.  “The door is open Muffin, come take a look”.  I go over to him, CHOMP!  Happy dance time!  There he goes again jumping around on one foot, falling over the stool, making that human purring sound again.  You know, the one he calls groaning.  I can’t understand why he’s rubbing his head though.  I bit his foot, not his head.  Oh, I see.  He hit his head on the bookcase again.  He does that a lot for some reason.

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Time for a nap, training a human is hard work.

But he finally got it that time.  He ran quickly to the kitchen saying, “Muffin wants some food, right?”  Amazing.  He actually learned.  Well, sort of.  He will forget again next time.  There is something about humans  They have trouble remembering which meow is for which thing.  Oh well.  He’s pretty good anyway and I do like him.  Even if he can’t understand a plain meow.  Until next time!

Muffin. (as meowed to Steve)

© 2019 Steve McLeod.

Insulator Adventures Part 4.

Good morning everyone and I hope you are all enjoying your Friday!  Let’s get right into our story about our insulator adventures.  By this time it had gotten very windy.  It can be hard to hear when the wind is so strong, especially along the railway tracks.  The wind just seems to really howl along there.  Anyway, dad and I were trying to finish our lunch after dad finally settled down from his dancing with the ants.  He did, however, complain a bit about a headache from being hit on the head  with his thermos of coffee.  You shouldn’t have bent over after asking me to toss the thermos, I said.  Dad just looked at me.

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Squirrel watching me walk past.

Do you think you could possibly hand me a piece of cake without tossing it or dropping it, dad asked?  Sure, I said, that’s not hard.  I walked over and gave it to him.  Where is my coffee, asked dad?  I put it over here where it would be safe, I said.  You could have left it closer to me, said dad.  What?  Closer to me, yelled dad!  Hard to hear with this wind and the train going by, I said.  What, asked dad loudly?  The wind and train makes it hard to hear, I yelled!

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The beauty of the river.

That’s what I said, it should be over here, dad yelled back!  That’s why I put it here, I said. I want it closer to me, dad yelled!  Now, I am positive dad said he wanted me to throw it to him.  Which I thought was kind of odd after the last time.  But I did anyway.  Dad stood up just at that moment.  I mean, it couldn’t have been timed better if we had practiced it. WHUMP!  Right in his stomach.  Dad sat down very quickly again.  Guess he forgot again that he was sitting on that rock.  And it wasn’t a large rock.  And he sat down too far back.  So he fell backward.  Dad just kind of laid there with his legs up in the air.

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A new layer of pine needles covers everything.

Good thing there was some bushes behind you, I said.  Help me up, there’s bushes behind me, he yelled!  I helped dad get up.  Poor bush, said I, flattened completely.  What?  Calling me fat?  How could I stop you from falling when I was sitting way over there?  You’re right, it does smell like rain in the air, said dad.  Okay, next time we’ll bring you a folding chair, I agreed.  I think next time I will bring a folding chair, said dad.  Finally the train was gone so we could hear better again. 

You dropped your piece of cake, I said, trying very hard not to laugh.  Dad picked up his piece of cake.  Guess I dropped it, he said.  That was enough, I started to laugh.  It’s dirty, said dad.  He was also trying hard not to laugh, but finally burst out in some kind of crazy laughter.  I don’t think he was really laughing though.  Just wipe it off, I said, it’s only a little dirt.  Now I really started to laugh.  Dad looked at his piece of cake.  Then he looked at me.  I couldn’t believe what happened next.  He smushed his cake all over my face!  Then he started with that crazy type laughing again.IMG_9010 

I scooped a big bunch of it off and tossed it aside.  Dad was sitting back on his rock.  I got him right on his glasses.  Oops, didn’t mean to do that, I said.  Then I really burst out laughing.  Dad just sat there.  Then he took his glasses off and looked at them.  That was too much.  I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe!  How am I supposed to clean them properly, he said, as he tried wiping them off.  Oh my.  By this time even dad was laughing for real.

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Colors are finally starting to show along the river.

Then we both started to feel the rain drops.  Great, said dad, guess we better head back before it really starts to rain heavy.  Sigh.  All we found was these 6 insulators where we had our lunch.  Common types that we had already.  Oh well.  Perhaps next time.  Speaking of next time.  It’s time to quit.  Sorry this got a little long.  I hope you all have a great Friday and God bless!

Steve and Muffin.

© 2019 Steve McLeod.