Training Your Human. Part 1.

Hello to all my faithful readers!  Wow, it is so hard to believe that people all over the world like to read my little posts!  Thank you everyone!  Now, let’s get to this new post.  This is an important one.  My human might disagree with me on some points  but facts are facts.  He just doesn’t listen so well sometimes.  One day I’m meowing ever so nicely and running to the door because it’s a nice day.  And I want the door open so I can watch the chipmunks.Checker This is what my human says; “Does Muffin want some food?  I’ll get you something to eat right away.”  NO, Muffin doesn’t want food, Muffin wants the door open. “Come get some food Muffin”, says my human.  I don’t want FOOD, I want the door open.  I’m standing by the door meowing, how hard is it to understand?  My human comes over to me and pets me saying, “I gave you some nice fresh food”.  I don’t want food!  CHOMP!  “AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!  Bandages, bandages!”  My human always says that.

Feed them good, make them fat, get them ready for the cat! (by Muffin).

I run back to the door.  He comes out and opens the door for me.  “Why didn’t you say so?”  I did, you were not listening.  Sigh.  Another day I want to play.  “Does Muffin want some food?  I’ll get you some right away.”  NO, Muffin doesn’t want to eat.  Muffin wants to play!  “I’m getting you nice food”, says my human.  Not food, I want to play, can’t you see me hitting my favorite pink camouflage ping pong ball over to you?  “Food is ready”, says my human.  I want to play!  CHOMP!  “AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!  Bandages, bandages!”  Then he comes back out with these funny things on his feet.  It’s hard not to laugh at him.  Then he plays with me.  Seems like it would have been easier to do that first.  Sigh.IMG_1013 Another time I want food, I’m hungry.  And I meow nicely rubbing against his legs.  “Oh, does Muffin want the door open?”  “I’ll open the door for you.”  And he does.  I just look at his feet swishing my tail.  “The door is open Muffin, come take a look”.  I go over to him, CHOMP!  Happy dance time!  There he goes again jumping around on one foot, falling over the stool, making that human purring sound again.  You know, the one he calls groaning.  I can’t understand why he’s rubbing his head though.  I bit his foot, not his head.  Oh, I see.  He hit his head on the bookcase again.  He does that a lot for some reason.

Time for a nap, training a human is hard work.

But he finally got it that time.  He ran quickly to the kitchen saying, “Muffin wants some food, right?”  Amazing.  He actually learned.  Well, sort of.  He will forget again next time.  There is something about humans  They have trouble remembering which meow is for which thing.  Oh well.  He’s pretty good anyway and I do like him.  Even if he can’t understand a plain meow.  Until next time!

Muffin. (as meowed to Steve)

© 2019 Steve McLeod.

38 Comments on “Training Your Human. Part 1.

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