For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi, hi everyone!😻 I back again to share some fun funnies for friends today! I still not feeling good but I wanted to share some funnies with you all anyway. So, here we go!
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There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years, dirt doesn’t get any worse.
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I went to Magician’s School but flunked the final exam. They were all trick questions.
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I just realized that tofu is overrated. It just a curd to me.
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One Sunday morning when my son, David, was about 5, we were attending a church in our community. It was common for the preacher to invite the children to the front of the church and have a small lesson before beginning the sermon. He would bring in an item they could find around the house and relate it to a teaching from the Bible.
This particular morning, the visual aid for his lesson was a smoke detector. He asked the children if anyone knew what it meant when an alarm sounded from the smoke detector.
My child immediately raised his hand and said, “It means Daddy’s cooking dinner.”
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RULES FOR EDITING
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
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Mary announced that she was going to start a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.
“Great,” Sue exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first.”
“Wonderful,” Mary replied. “I’ll go with you.”
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A large stack of toilet paper fell on me in the supermarket. I’m okay, though, just some soft tissue damage.
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Well, that all for today everyone! I hope you have wonderful and nice week!
Muffin.😽 ©2025 Muffin McLeod.
Jennifer and I were sitting in the library and I decided to suggest an idea to her. Looking back, this was probably not the best time to do so. Oh well. I asked her what she thought about letting Misty and her team handle this one, so they would go to Milan and check out Tony and Camille. Jennifer thought that was a great idea, she figured Misty was totally ready and many of the girls on her team were experienced, so there should be no problem.
I don’t like it when people tell me there will be “no problem” because that usually means problems are coming. Oh well. Jennifer called Misty, then she stood up to get us some donuts. Misty came sliding into the library, wearing socks but no shoes again. She slid past Jennifer and landed on my lap just as I was about to drink some coffee, so, naturally the coffee spilled all over me.
“Good thing you’re a ghost,” she said, “or that hot coffee might have burned you. Oh, I’m sorry.” She quickly stood up and Beryan brought me a towel. Misty went to Jennifer and saluted, “Misty reporting for duty Leader Jennifer,” she said. “Misty, stop saluting please,” said Jennifer. “Oops, forgot,” said Misty and she lowered her hand.
“Now that Steve is out of the clinic,” said Jennifer, “he is now Leader 1 again, and he wants you.” “Oh! Steve wants me!” she said excitedly, and she quickly slid over to me. I was standing with a fresh cup of coffee that Beryan just brought me and Misty slammed into me, knocking me back onto the couch with her on top of me again and spilling my coffee on me again.
She screamed since that hot coffee got on her this time too, so she grabbed my towel and wiped the coffee off her. Jennifer told her to pat my face dry too. Misty was sure she said punch my face, which she thought was odd, but she did it anyway. Poor Misty was very embarrassed. Jennifer was trying hard not to laugh. I was checking to see if my nose was still on my face. Oh well. I told Misty that her and her team would be taking on this case and checking out Tony and Camille.
Since I had taken Aasta from her team to send with the grandparents, then I would give her Astrid as a replacement. I also wanted her to take 4 cats along, Snow, Tiia, Tracker and Sunny. I also told her I was taking Carine off her team and putting her with Aari’s team, that way they will have a ghost with them too. I thought she was going to faint when I said that, so I quickly told her she would be getting Kitty to replace her.
“Whew!” said Misty, “I was about ready to faint when you said that. Um, why the changes?” Jennifer came and whispered to Misty. “NO WAY!” she exclaimed, “That is way cool!” Then Jennifer told her if she said anything to anyone, including Cristy, she would lose her team. That’s when Misty fell on my lap, spilling my coffee for the third time. Oh well.
That’s when Jennifer decided to laugh. Loud and long. Sigh. Misty had her team ready to go in one hour and we had a car and two vans ready for them to use. After they were gone, I asked Jennifer, “Should we send Kat or Sky as backup?” “Something tells me they may need both,” said Jennifer with a worried look. I called Kat and told her to follow Misty’s team.
“She needs a name for her team,” said Kat, “the rest of us have names.” “My team doesn’t have a name,” I said. “Your team doesn’t go anywhere,” said Kat. “Well, our team would feel discouraged if all the other teams had names and we didn’t,” I said, “now, if you want to find names for our two teams, then fine.” Kat sighed. “I’ll get my team ready to roll,” she said.
“I’ll try to come up with a name for both teams,” said Jennifer, “and that reminds me, quite a while ago we lost 6 cats, remember?” “Um, yes, I do remember,” I said. “You also said we need to replace those cats and get a few more for certain people,” she added. “Um, yes, I do kind of remember that too,” I said, sighing. “Well, we have lots of time this afternoon to go take a look,” she said smiling. Oh well.
Right after lunch we went to the city to see what we could find. Walking into that huge place with it’s 400 cats is quite the experience. I am a bit glad that Muffin and Storm are not here constantly asking if we can bring them all home with us. “Wouldn’t it be great if we could bring them all home with us?” asked Jennifer with a big smile. I wanted to scream. But I knew it would be safer not to do so.
Our aim is 8 cats, providing we can find them. We have Melanie, Sabina, Beryan, Sherry, Hannah, Nakedra, Akila, plus Jennifer and I. We also have Jewel, Ginger, Tiger and Azura with us to talk with the other cats. Surprisingly, we found 6 cats in all of those beautiful furry critters. Too bad we can’t bring them all home with us. I was careful not to say that out loud however. On the way home Jennifer spotted a sign pointing down a side road that said “Free Cats”.
I didn’t want to waste the time but that loud “AWWWWW!” as Sherry drove past was just too much. So, we turned around and drove down this road for nearly 10km, then into an old farm, I think. Anyway, they had 10 cats, all between 1 and 2 years old. Somehow we ended up taking 6 of them with us. “We’re sure that all of them can communicate, right?” I asked Jennifer. “Yes Steve,” she said, “they can all talk.” Just didn’t seem possible to find so many in one small place.
Meanwhile, as we were driving back, Sky communicated with us that there was a slight problem out at the grandparents house. I almost hated to ask what it was, but I did. Apparently they all arrived okay without any problems, but when they got back the garage and 3 other smaller buildings on the property had been burned and were still smoldering…
To Be Continued. ©2025 Steve McLeod.