For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi to everyone out there somewhere!😺 Oooo, it big day here for me today. It number 100 for Muffin’s funnies posts!!😻😀 Wow, it really amazing, I never thought maybe I wouldn’t make it this far. Of course, it would have been here sooner but my human lose some of my posts, like on Wednesday. I ask him where is post, he say it missing. I say then look for it, then it not be lost anymore. He say it not lost, it missing. Well, if it missing, then it lost, if not lost, then publish post. He say it not lost but it missing. Well, if it missing, then go look for it so it not missing anymore. He say not able to look for it because it not there. I ask where it not. He say it not nowhere, it just missing. I sit and stare at him and go blinkety blink. He end up with sore leg, but I tell him not to worry, it just missing.😹🙄 Here is funnies…
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At a large corporation, the CEO who was leaving presented the new CEO with three numbered envelopes. “Open one of these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can solve,” he said.
At first things went along smoothly. Six months later, sales took a downturn and the CEO was catching a lot of heat. Then he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope.
The message was: “Blame your predecessor.”
The new CEO called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. The press and Wall Street responded positively, sales began to pick up, and the problem was soon behind him.
About a year later the company experienced another dip in sales plus some product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope.
The message: “Reorganize.”
This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.
After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope.
The message said: “Prepare three envelopes.”
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TEAMWORK means never having to take all the blame yourself.
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Seeing a spider is not a problem:Â The problem comes when it disappears.
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One day while driving through a neighborhood near his church, Pastor John saw a little boy on a front porch, struggling trying to reach the doorbell.
Feeling like he needed to help the young fellow, he stopped his car and got out to help. He pressed the doorbell for him and said, in a teaching way, “Now what do we do?”
“Now,” the boy said, laughing, “we run!”
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Kids have a greater need for speed than classroom computers can deliver.
Impatient to turn in his term paper, one restless student kept clicking the “Print” command.
The printer started to churn out copy after copy of the kid’s ten-page report.
The topic?
“Save Our Trees.”
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Why isn’t there a mouse-flavored cat food? (me like to know answer too)😾
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Answers to quiz questions waaaaaay down at bottom of post.
1. Johnny’s mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child’s name?
2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?
3. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?
4. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?
5. If you were running a race and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?
6. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?
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That all for today, hope you enjoyed funnies and hope you have very wonderful weekend time too!
Muffin.😽 (Keep going down for answers!)😹
©2024 Muffin McLeod.
Answers to quiz questions!
1. Answer: Johnny, of course.
2. Answer: Meat.
3. Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.
4. Answer: You can’t take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.
5. Answer: You would be in 2nd.
6. Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.
We have landed and are now driving to the town we want. It will take us about 4 hours to get there and we had to use some less obvious vehicles on this trip or we will attract too much attention. Matt and the Knight Riders will still use their motorcycles and will be staying in a much larger town which is less than an hour away. I’m sure they could cover the distance in half an hour if necessary. Kat and her team will be in vans as usual and will show up with us tonight.
My team has gotten smaller so that the Wildcats could get a bit larger in numbers, which I think will be a good thing. Kristina’s team is also a bit larger, though she left Angel at home. I wanted Angel to watch over Sky and the kids. Something about this case has me, um, curious. Team 4 is at the chateau right now as well, plus the new Team S2, which is made up of 10 specially trained men. They were specially chosen and trained to work with us whenever we need them.
Vlora’s Team S is close by as well, this will be their first real case working with us. Team S has now been renamed Vlora’s Angels. Nakedra is the second in command of that team. Both of those girls are fearless. Kristina and her team are in the country too, but not too close by, we don’t want to overwhelm the area. She and her girls are just close enough to get here fairly quickly if needed. But I don’t expect we will need them, we have four teams now.
But it’s nice to know they are not too far away. We finally arrive at our destination with not much time to spare before meeting Mandar’s “friend”. I hope he really is a friend and not someone working with the kidnappers. How can we tell? If they are with the kidnappers, then they will know we are coming and that is the end of the twins. “Looks to me like a trap Steve,” said Jennifer. She had gone ahead to the old storefront building and looked in the window.
The friend was in there, with two other men who carried guns. But something else of interest, there was also a woman in there talking with the friend. “I think you are right,” I said, “much too risky, we will have to try something else instead.” I called Mandar and informed him of our decision. “Oh my, that is not good at all,” he said, “now they will know you are in the area.”
“No, not yet,” I said, “you need to contact your friend to let him know we decided not to take the job and you found someone else who can’t make it for another 3 days. That will give us enough time to do our work.” “I certainly hope you know what you are doing my good friend,” he said, “but I will trust you fully on this.” He then called his friend to tell him the bad news. “That does not give these new people much time to rescue your kids,” said the friend.
“I agree, but nothing I can do,” said Mandar, “but they assured me they can do it in the time frame they have.” “Okay, I will be back here in three days, same time,” he said. “Very good,” said Mandar, “thank you for your help.” “Always there for a friend,” he said. After he hung up with Mandar, he then called someone. “There is going to be a slight delay,” said the friend, “he couldn’t get the original people so he has someone else coming in three days. Yeah, I will keep a good look out around here and let you know if I see anything.”
“So what happens now?” asked one of the men. “We just wait and keep our eyes open for strangers in town,” said the friend. “But it’s festival time,” said another man, “there are lots of strangers in town these days.” “Yeah, I know it,” said the friend, “but do you want to explain that to her?” He pointed to his phone when he said that. “Now, get out and walk around town for a bit, see what you can find out,” he said. “Okay Eddie, shall do,” said one, and both men left.
“Look at that, they left the door open,” said Eddie, “guys can’t even close a door.” He got up and closed it, plus he made sure it was locked. Then he turned around to see three ghostly figures standing by his table. “Nice to see you Eddie,” said the man in the middle, “you know, I really don’t like traitors, and you are a traitor, turning against your own friend. Not a good thing Eddie. Traitors always die.”
He then pulled out his gun but Kat kicked him in the stomach, then to his head, knocking him against the wall and then he slid to the floor, dead. A little while later. “Why are you phoning me Brick?” said the woman. “You’re not gonna like this,” said Brick, “we were out looking around town and when we came back we found Eddie dead, with five scratches on his cheek and a note on him that read “mark of the Kat”.”
“Were the photos taken?” she asked. “Nope, they are still here, still in the sealed envelope too,” said Brick. “Hmm, obviously they didn’t want those,” she said, “but why kill him?” “Eddie has lots of enemies,” said Brick, “maybe one of them finally caught up with him.” “Just what we need right now,” she said, “well, get rid of the body and those photos! Plus anything else you might have around there.”
“Hey, I just remembered something,” said Brick, “we saw 5 gals walking around town wearing jackets that said “Kat’s Wildcats” on the back, and Kat was spelled the same as in the note.” “Okay, I will check on that,” said Kendra, “now do what I told you!” She hung up and had one of her men look up Kat’s Wildcats. “They are a tough gang from Europe that are also in the USA now,” said Tony, “maybe they’re looking to expand to Argentina too.”
“Perhaps, but they must have known Eddie,” said Kendra, “unless someone hired them to eliminate Eddie.” “That would make the most sense,” said Tony, “these women are definitely a criminal gang.” “And it had to happen right now,” said Kendra, “it hampers my plans for sure since Eddie is supposed to be the contact man. I will have to get Brick to take his place.”
To Be Continued.
©2024 Steve McLeod.