For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi, hi everyone!😺 I back with more fun funnies for you to read and laugh with! My human slow again, him not feeling well lately. So I being nice and not biting him lately too. Kinda boring. He need to get better soon or I going to go crazy! Hey, maybe I can push some plants off table onto floor. That always fun thing to do. My human not need plants anyway, he have lots out on balcony room. He can always go out there and get more. One of his favorite plants fell on floor the other day and I not even do it. It was fan thing that blow air around. It knock plant off shelf and onto floor. Make big mess.😹 Oh well. Here is funnies for today…
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One evening, a bird-lover stood in his backyard and hooted like an owl — and an owl called back to him! They had a whole “conversation.”
He tried it again the next night, and the next — and the owl always answered. He was fascinated.
Sometime later his wife had a chat with her next door neighbor. “My husband spends his nights … calling out to owls,” she said.
“That’s odd,” the neighbor replied. “So does my husband.”
Just then it dawned on them.
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The way to achieve inner peace is to finish the things we have started. Today I finished a Krispy Kreme, 2 bags of potato chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already…
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Taking great pains to be specific, the new auto-shop teacher on our staff explained to three of his students that he wanted them to clean a car that was parked outside. He gave them two extension cords, the vacuum cleaner, a bucket, rags and the car keys. He mentioned that the car was one to be used in his class.
Later he went out and discovered them sitting in the car, feet up on the dashboard, listening to the stereo. “Why aren’t you vacuuming the car?” he asked.
“Because the extension cord wouldn’t reach,” was the reply.
Exasperated, the teacher stated, “That’s why I gave you two.”
“We tried the other one,” a student said, “but it wouldn’t reach either.”
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Why be difficult? Put in some effort and be impossible.
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I hope you like funnies for today! Have nice day to all of you!
Muffin. 😽
©2024 Muffin McLeod.
Driving home we discovered that Liza could speak English, though she did have some trouble with it. She had heard Nakedra and Vlora speaking in French, a language that she knew also, so she wrote the note in French knowing that none of Hoffman’s men knew French at all. The note was short, just mentioning she had been kidnapped and asked for help to get away safely. I asked her if she would like to stay with us for a while just in case Hoffman sent someone looking for her.
She jumped at the opportunity telling us that she had tried 4 other times to run away, but Hoffman sent men to find her and bring her back. She was then beaten and chained to a wall in what all the girls called, “the hole”. She described what it was like in there, it was not a very pleasant place. Hoffman was a very hard and demanding man. Normally Liza would be working in the side room of the club, the place where the prettiest girls were always working, but the main room was short staffed that evening so Hoffman brought her out since she still had some bruises.
And in the side room the girls were not allowed to wear clothes, so they could not have bruises showing. She asked if I would like to see her bruises, but I told her it would not be necessary. She showed us anyway and she said it looked a lot better now than it did three days ago. If that is the case, and I don’t doubt her, then it must have been rough. If we were not already on a case, I think we would be going back to visit with Hoffman again, and he would not like that.
Liza is 22 and was kidnapped when she was 17 and was used by her “owners” in porn until she was 20, then she was sold to Hoffman who used her as a waitress until now. I think ‘waitress’ isn’t quite the right word, but that is what she said. The last time she ran away she was able to call her family in Latvia, but they told her she was no longer part of their family since she shamed them so badly working in the porn industry. She broke down crying at that point and Jennifer went to sit beside her, putting her arm around her.
Liza also told us that the big doorman in Hoffman’s office was the man that would beat the girls. Why is it that these guys always think it is necessary to use some big ape to beat girls. I know these are women, not little girls, but still, Liza is less than half the size of that big ape. She is maybe 120 pounds and he would be at least 250 pounds. I told her he would not be hurting anyone again, ever. She asked why and I told her that Jennifer had killed him.
She was astonished at that and even more so that Hoffman would let us leave after killing one of his main men. “He didn’t really have much choice,” I said, “we had him outnumbered and Jennifer could have killed him and his other two men before they had a chance to move.” Jennifer giggled. “By the way,” I said, “how does Jewel manage to stay invisible when she is not with you?” “Oh, that is something new Kat developed a while back,” said Jennifer.
“And neither of you thought this news was important enough to tell me about?” I asked. “Oh, we were planning to do so,” she replied, “but things have been kind of busy.” She smiled. “We could do this for you too,” she added. “Hmm, that’s nice to know,” I said, “um, I don’t have to die first, do I?” “Oh no, that is not a requirement,” she said, giggling. “Thank you,” I said. It was late, or perhaps I should say, early in the morning when we finally arrived home and got into bed. Unfortunately, regular morning arrived too soon. I awoke to Dawn standing next to the bed with a container of water ready to pour it on me.
“Sky said if you are not out of bed in another 5 seconds, then I am to wake you up with this cold water,” she said. I was up amazingly fast. “I didn’t want you to miss breakfast,” said Sky. Jennifer was already finished eating and was sitting there drinking coffee. “How did you manage to get up so early and look perfectly refreshed?” I asked. “I’m a ghost, remember?” she said, “I don’t need the sleep that you mortals need.” She then giggled. If I didn’t need this coffee to wake me up I’m sure I would have poured it on her head.
After breakfast I called Kat to see how things are going. They still haven’t found the loot but I told her to keep looking and if Ann ventures onto the property for any reason, then she is to kill her. “But go over there and give her warning first,” I said. So that is what Kat did right away and she then returned to Emberlyn’s with Ann yelling at her the whole time. I then called Matt and told him to start putting pressure on the pub owner, and Cliff, if he shows up there too.
The pub opened that day at noon so Matt and his Knight Riders showed up right on time. The place was already half full of customers when they arrived, but that was good for added pressure. First Matt and Clarence went in together and sat down. “I would like to speak with the owner,” said Matt. “Who?” was all the man said. “Matt Knight,” answered Matt. The man went into the back and told Wicks. “Never heard of him,” said Wicks, “tell him I’m too busy right now.” The man came out and told Matt. “Tell him it concerns Ann Graham,” said Matt firmly.
The man went back to Wicks. “They look like a couple of toughs to me,” said Al, “I don’t like it at all, could be someone from Karl.” “He might have found out what Ann has been doing,” said Cliff, “better go talk with him Wicks.” So Wicks came out and sat at the table with Matt and Clarence. “I own this establishment,” said Wicks. “Nice place you have here,” said Matt, “looks like a popular place too, that’s always good.” “Yep, we get a lot of the locals come here and people driving through the area,” said Wicks, getting a bit nervous about these comments concerning his pub.
“Tell Cliff to come out and join us too,” said Matt, “this concerns him too.” He told Al to get Cliff who came out quickly and sat down. “My name is Matt Knight, leader of the Knight Riders, and good friends with Kat and her Wildcats,” he said, “I hear a woman you know, Ann Graham, killed one of the Wildcats and seriously wounded another. You know, the more I look around this place, the more I like your pub, it would be such a shame to have it broken up.” He then pulled out his gun and shot toward the ceiling.
All the chatter in the room stopped and the Knight Riders came walking in, after Rock smashed his way through the door. “Look at the size of them fellas,” said Al. Then the Riders began to break up tables and chairs and smash all liquor bottles, mugs and glasses. People were getting up and trying to get out so Matt told the guys to stop and let the customers leave, which they did. Matt then pointed his gun at Wicks. “Should I let my boys keep going?” he asked Wicks, “Or can you tell me more about this woman Ann?”
To Be Continued.
©2024 Steve McLeod.