For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi everyone!😺 Muffin here! I back again to start your Monday with fun and funnies! Okay, I late today, feeling kinda lazy right now, too much winter and nothing to look at outside. Kinda boring around here, except for noises in hallway that are scary. People talk and knock on doors all the time. Is one bit of excitement today. Seems water pipes that just got fixed sprung a leak and make big flood on main floor. People not too happy down there. Probably they pull hair, jump up and down and go splish splash in water puddles. My human would do that. But he get a little crazy when things go wrong. hehehe!😹 Here is funny for today…
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The school was having trouble with Little Johnny and decided to have him tested by a psychologist.
The first question he was asked was, “If I have ten apples and take away five apples, what is the difference?”
After a brief pause Little Johnny answered, “That’s just what I say, ‘What’s the difference?'”.
When asked whether a pair of trousers were singular or plural, he replied, “Well, they are singular at the top and plural at the bottom.”
Finally the psychologist decided to test his spelling and asked him, “How do you spell Banana?”
After careful consideration he replied, “B A N A N A N A N A N A N A-”
The psychologist interrupted him and said, “Johnny that’s quite enough,” to which he replied, “I know how to spell it, I just don’t know when to stop.”
The psychologist then wrote on his report: “If you are not having problems with Little Johnny it would not be normal.”
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To measure the quality of puns, you must use a sighsmograph.
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You know you’re a bad driver when Siri says, “In 400 feet, stop and let me out.”
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Sometimes I shock myself with the stuff I say and do. Other times, I try to get out of the car with my seat belt on.
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Well, that all for today, hope you all enjoy funnies and have great day!
Muffin. 😻
©2024 Muffin McLeod.
When I kissed Sky goodbye, I also gave her a note which read, “Do not worry, I will be back with you in less than an hour. Get in the car and drive 3 streets, then turn right. Matt and others will be waiting and will escort you and the girls out of the city. You will stop along the way to pick me up. Oh, let John out of the trunk. Move fast. Steve.” Sky got all the girls into the car, Jennifer had given her the keys already, then off they went.
When they turned down that street, Matt pulled in front of her and another car pulled in behind her and off they continued. Sky was still worried though, something just might go wrong. And what happened to Jennifer, she just disappeared. As we drove along the street in the van, one of the men spoke up. “You won’t believe this,” he said, “but that gal that was with this guy just disappeared while I was watching!”
“This friend of yours must be on some kind of drug,” I said. “Shut up you!” he yelled and punched me in the stomach. “No one can just disappear Cliff,” said another man, “you must be on drugs.” “Or there is something wrong with his eyes,” I said again. “I said to shut up!” he yelled again and punched me harder this time.
“Hey, don’t hurt him or Carole Ann will blame us all,” said the driver, “and with her temper she could kill us for that. So you shut up about that gal disappearing, that can get us killed too!” “Oh, oh, police blockade up ahead,” said the driver. “You better not say anything stupid man,” said the guy beside me, “or you will die.” “I will say nothing,” I told him.
They stopped and the police came to the driver. “Do you have any women in here?” he asked. “No sir, just us guys going out for breakfast,” said the driver. Just then there was a loud female voice laughing. “Then whoooooo am I?” said the voice. The police pulled their guns and told everyone to get out. As I and two others got out the side door, Jennifer suddenly appeared in front of us which scared my two guards.
I walked off to the side and they spotted Rock. “Whoa, look at that!” said one of them. Rock finished them quickly enough. I then told something to Jennifer about what the man in the front had done to Agata. She was furious and kicked the guy once in the stomach, then once to his head and he fell dead. The police came to our side at that point and asked what happened to the one man that was dead.
“He had pulled his gun to shoot me,” I said. He had pulled his gun, most likely to shoot me rather than let me go. “Okay Steve,” said Rock, “time for you to get going back home with Jennifer. We will deal with Carole Ann now. Annelie said she has a studio right here in this city, so likely that is where she is hiding right now, waiting for you to show up. We will show up instead.”
There was a car behind us, with Amber and Beryan waiting for us. Jennifer took over the driving. I am not really sure who is the most scary driver, Sky or Jennifer. “You will soon be united with your family Steve,” said Jennifer. “You mean the rest of my family,” I reminded her, “you are part of my family too, remember?” She smiled. “Yes Steve, I remember,” she said.
It was indeed less than an hour and we were all back together again. “Daddy, daddy!” screamed Agata as she ran toward me, almost knocking me over as she jumped into my arms. “That is so nice to see,” said Honey to Sky, “I wish that I…” She blushed and put her head down. Sky whispered to her. “I can do that too?” she asked with wide eyes. “Hey, he is your daddy too,” said Sky smiling. I put Agata down and Honey came running over, throwing her arms around me.
“I am so glad you are back daddy,” she said with tears, “I love you very much!” “I love you too Honey,” I said, “I really do.” Matt then told us we need to hurry and get back home where we will be safe. He was right and off we went again. We switched to the bigger car and Jennifer continued to drive. She had to drive a bit slower now, however, since Matt was in the lead car.
“He drives kind of slow,” said Jennifer. “A nice safe speed,” I said. Meanwhile, back at Carole Ann’s studio. “Why have we not heard from those men yet?” she asked. “Who knows?” said Jud, “Those guys are not very trustworthy if you ask me. They probably stopped to get coffee on the way back.” “If they made any stops,” she said angrily, “they will die for it! When I give an order, I expect it to be obeyed, without changes!”
“Yeah, that brother of yours kind of likes to do things his own way,” said Jeremy. “I never should have sent him,” said Carole Ann, “you are right, he likes to be his own boss, but he will pay for that! Where is Danny?” “Still sleeping,” said Jim, “he was on guard duty last night.” “Oh, that’s right,” she said, “at least I can trust him.” Just then a buzzer. “Carole Ann, there is a man and woman here looking for a job, I think you will want to talk with them…”
To Be Continued.
©2024 Steve McLeod.