For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
PLEASE NOTE: Muffin’s Fun post is meant for humor purposes only and is not intended to be taken seriously. Thank you.
Hi, hi everyone!😺 It middle of week now so it time for more fun funnies for you to enjoy. Thank you for all nice comments you leave for me too. I glad you all like my funnies. My human and me work together to find these funnies to share. He look for them, I sleep. Sometimes I need to bite foot so he keep mind on work. hehehe.😹 We make good team, that for sure. It nice sunny day, so maybe I can sleep in sunshine again. That best place to sleep, in sunshine spot. Everyone need to have sunshine spot for napping. So nice. Anyway, here is funnies for you…
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THE 9 LAWS OF LIFE
1. When ones hands are covered in oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch.
2. Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened.
3. When things seem easy to do, it’s because you haven’t followed all the instructions.
4. The cost is always higher than one budgets for, and it’s exactly 3.14 times higher, hence the importance of pi.
5. The probability that one will spill food on one’s clothes is directly proportional to its need to be clean.
6. Each and every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to ring.
7. Wind velocity will increase proportionally to the cost of ones hairdo.
8. After discarding something not used for years, you will need it one week later.
9. Arriving for an appointment will cause the receptionist to be absent, and if one arrives late, everyone else else arrived before you.
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So many people these days are judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.
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A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.
She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up.
Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning. Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home.
“So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?”
“It’s pretty nice,” she replied. “Except they won’t let me pass gas.”
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The proper response to “Good morning” is not “Prove it!”
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Well, that all for today everyone, hope you like them. Have wonderful Wednesday!
Muffin.😽
©2024 Muffin McLeod.
The man who called told me he wanted $1 million for the formula and antidote, plus $5 million for the information about where to find Carmen. “She is in this city right now,” he said, “and I am in hiding. She does not know I am here too. You must come alone though.” I then explained that because of health problems I needed someone with me to drive and help me walk, plus to carry the one suitcase of cash he wanted.
He asked for $100,000 cash, like Carmen did previously. He saw that worked well and needed the cash to get away quickly. He also told me where to send the rest of the money. He was willing to wait for that until I checked his information. He did tell me where Carmen was at that moment.
After our call I phoned Mr. B, not ours, the other one and told him of this latest development and where Carmen might be, if this guy is telling the truth. “I will check on that one right away Steve,” he said, “then I will let you know what I find out.” “Hmm, I wonder if Beryan could massage me some more tonight?” I asked, not really expecting an answer.
“I will get her for you,” said Kat. “You will have to ask Rock first,” I reminded her. She came back shortly with Beryan. “That was fast,” I said, “I thought for sure that Rock would be in bed by now.” “Quite possibly,” said Kat casually. “You will get yourself and Beryan in trouble that way,” I said. “Only if we get caught,” said Kat giggling. “Stop talking and relax, Steve,” said Beryan.
The next morning I asked Rock to call a whole team meeting and I told them about the phone call last night. “This is just for information,” I said, “it is up to all of you to decide what to do. As far as the $1 million for the formula and antidote, I can still pay that amount from my own money. The rest would have to come from the reward money.”
“The reward has been withdrawn,” said Mr. B, “we have Sky back and who knows how many Carmen “doubles” are out there. We cannot afford to keep paying out money for nothing.” The team members at the clinic are watching on video link so they can participate. “Mr. B, I want you in here by 10am for a complete physical examination,” said Dr. Kerstina, “you are overdo for one anyway.
And that goes for you too Rock.” “I also want you in for a mental health status exam after your physical exam,” said Galyna, “and that is an order. The same goes for you Rock, right after Mr. B.” Mr. B was furious that they would order him to do this. “It is Team rules,” said Galyna, “we have that authority, that you agreed upon when we were both hired. Your actions of late leave me suspicious as to your health.”
Mr. B then stood up to say something, but he collapsed, falling to the floor. Rock carried him out to his car, Miles and John drove him to the clinic. The meeting then continued. “This man will only deal with me,” I said, “and I need to meet him tonight with $100,000 in cash. I am presently having the information verified before putting the money in his bank account.
He is allowing one person to go with me, it must be a woman, but, as you all know by now, I am not a member of this team anymore so I cannot pick anyone to go with me. It will have to be a volunteer and approved by Rock. This could be a trap, which means we may not be coming back.” Sky was furious since this was news to her, that is, about me no longer on the team, and she reminded me she still had enough money to pay the $5 million, so we did not need Investigators money.
“Steve,” said Hope, “I am not a member of the Investigators, so I do not need to be ‘approved’, I can also fight well and you know that I can shoot well too, so I would like to volunteer to go with you.” “Thank you Hope,” I said, “that might work out just nicely. I do have a plan that hopefully will bring us back alive too.” I then shared the plan with everyone.
Then Kerstina rejoined us and said that Baldwin had a massive heart attack. He also had several smaller heart attacks over the past few weeks which she believes led to his inability to think properly and make decisions. There was also remnants in his system of the same drug used on Sky, something that could have caused his heart attacks.
We later discovered that drug was in his favorite pipe tobacco. We never did let him smoke here at the chateau, but he did at home. Then Mandar drove up, he had been away on some business meetings since the initial time with Carmen at her underground complex…
To Be Continued.
©2024 Steve McLeod.