For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi to all of you and everyone too!😺 It me, Muffin, with some more funnies for you to laugh, chuckle or giggle at today. My human say he want to help me again today and pick out funnies for you all. So, I say to him that he can do that, but I read them first. After all, they might not maybe be good ones. I have reputation to watch. So, here are his picks for today…
Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch.
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Martin was a slow-working employee and found it difficult to hold a job. Finally, he found work at the Zoo. The zookeeper, aware of his reputation, assigned him to the tortoise section.
Later, the zookeeper dropped by and found Martin standing by an empty enclosure.
“Where are the tortoises?” the zookeeper asked.
“I cannot believe it!” said Martin. “I just opened the door and then … Whooooosh!”
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Some people like living in the past. For one thing, the rent is a lot cheaper.
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A secretary, a paralegal, and a partner in a big law firm are walking through a park on their way to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, “I usually only grant three wishes, so I’ll give each of you just one.”
“Me first! Me first!” says the secretary. “I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone.
“Me next! Me next!” says the paralegal. “I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of exotic foods, and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone.
“You’re next,” the Genie says to the partner. The partner says, “I want those two back in the office right after lunch.”
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That all for today, have very nice weekend time and I see you on Monday!
Muffin. 😻
©2023 Muffin McLeod.
Here I am, lying on my bed while Beryan massages my pain filled back and yet it was getting worse. I was trying to remember who this Craig Masters was and why he would be after me. Kat and Dawn had come to our bedroom too since they are my bodyguards, but Kera is also a bodyguard for me now too, but she did not come. “Where is Kera?” asked Sky. “No idea,” said Dawn, “she was not with us in the library.”
So Sky decided to call her, “Kera, this is Sky, please come to our bedroom.” Three minutes later she still had not come. “Okay everyone,” said Sky, “find Kera.” Everyone scattered to look for her and found her in bed terribly sick. They called our room to let us know. “Get her to the clinic right away,” I said, and so they rushed her to the hospital.
Then we got a call from the lady at the bakery where we bought our bread, and some other things. “A man stopped here, dressed as Santa Clause,” she began, “and he left a letter for you.” “Mac, take John and Clarence and go get that letter from the bakery,” I said to him. Off they went and brought the letter back. By then I was burning with a fever and was sick, just like Kera.
They took me off to the clinic when they arrived back with the letter. They stayed with me there, as did Sky. She read the letter to me, though I barely heard a word. “Oops, I am sorry, forgot to mention that I have more means of attacking you than just guns, I do hope that Kera will be okay. Until next time, Craig Masters.” Kera and I were the only ones to eat some muffins the girls had bought.
I should have known better and have the cats sniff our food all the time. Hopefully my stupidity will not lead to Kera’s death, or mine either. So how did Craig know which muffins to poison? Simple, if he has been watching us for a while he would know we go to the bakery on the same day each week.
They always leave the back door to their “baking room” as they like to call it, open during the day. And she always writes down our order each time, so it would not be hard for him to sneak in and put poison in something. As it turns out, this toxin is not deadly, it just makes people very sick. That last part is certainly true. But why is he doing this? Just to show us he could kill us if he wanted to do so?
The next day both Kera and myself were feeling much better but Li Jing wanted us to stay one more day anyway. At noon Baldwin showed up with Mac, John and Clarence. “I got a call from Astrid just a few minutes ago,” said Baldwin, “she was at the hospital with her mother, and her dad was there too. But he needed to go home and nap for a while.
As he was crossing the parking lot, a car came speeding along, struck him and fled the scene. He died instantly. This happened 3 days ago and now they cannot find the will and apparently there is important information in there for her mother. She asked if we could send some help.” “Naturally we will,” I said, and I called Kristina, “get 5 other girls and go help Astrid, something strange is happening there, so be careful and be ready.”
She took Sapphire, Cinnamon, Engla, Tracy and Aoife and off they went to help Astrid and her friends. “Do you think this might be linked to this Craig fellow?” asked Baldwin. “No, I think it is different,” I said, “no note was left for us or for Astrid. For now we will treat it as different. Has Annelie found out anything yet?” “Just his birth certificate,” said Mac.
“Seems he covered his trail to make it hard to find out anything about him,” said John. “He expects you to remember him,” added Clarence, “so you will not need past information.” “Makes sense,” said Baldwin. “Yeah, you know him,” said Mac, “he is vain and proud.” Hmm, vain and proud, vain and proud.
This kept going through my mind for a while. Mac does not say much, but when he does, he is normally correct. “Think high school, Steve,” said Mac again. “I am, I am,” I said, “but still no one comes to mind and… hmm, just maybe.” I called Annelie. “Anything more about Craig Masters?” I asked her. “No Steve,” she said, sounding rather discouraged.
“Look up Reggie Wasters,” I told her, “you have one hour.” Later, our jet was coming in to land with Kristina and her team. Astrid and her friends were watching out the window at the airport. A man, not far from Astrid pushed a button on a small box and a violent explosion blasted the tail section right off our jet. The pilot was still able to land without anyone getting hurt…
To be continued.
©2023 Steve McLeod.