For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hello everyone on this fine evening, or morning depending on where you live in this world of ours. Anyway, just thought I would share a few chuckles with you folks this evening from my collection of humor. Maybe you will get a smile, chuckle, laugh or groan from some of these. Whatever the case, they are all nice fun anyway. So, sit back and enjoy! Hopefully.

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the Senior Special was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99.
“Sounds good,” my wife said. “But I don’t want the eggs.”
“Then I’ll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you’re ordering a la carte,” the waitress warned her.
“You mean I’d have to pay more for NOT taking the eggs?” my wife asked incredulously.
“Yep” stated the waitress.
“I’ll take the special,” my wife replied.
“How do you want your eggs?”
“Raw and in the shell,” my wife replied.
She took the two eggs home.

While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom.
With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. “Just a minute,” I said, thinking of a quick solution. “I’ll put down newspapers.”
“That’s all right, lady,” he responded. “I’m already trained.”

Wanda’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check.”
“Oh, by the way don’t worry about my bulldog Spike. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!” “I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!”
When the repairman arrived at Wanda’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!”
To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”

A muscular young man at the construction site bragged that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. After several minutes, an older (and wiser) worker had had enough.
“Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” said the older fellow. “I bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won’t be able to wheel back.”
“You’re on, old man,” the young guy replied.
The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then he turned to the young man and said, “All right. Get in.”
Well, there you have it for today everyone, I hope you enjoyed one or two of these little chuckles. I also hope that all of you enjoy the remainder of your weekend and God bless!
Steve and Muffin.
© 2019 Steve McLeod.
Haha!
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Glad you sort of enjoyed it Lydia! Thanks for reading!😃😄
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I didn’t “sort of enjoyed it” I really like it!!!!
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Good, now I feel better. The first time wasn’t your usual enthusiasm, but you are tired. hehe.😄😸🙄
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Lol!!!! You must “know” me really well to say that! 😉
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Posilutely!!😂😹
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What’s that mean?
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Wow, that’s such a common word. It means positively absolutely yes. It’s in the dictionary.😂🤪
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Hmmm ok, I’ll look it up.
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Won’t likely be in your dictionary, only mine.😀🙄
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Haha!!!
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That was funny?
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Yeppy!!!
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Haha! These are great!! 🤣
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Thanks Michelle, glad you enjoyed them!😄😸🌳
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awesome steve
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Thank you Obaid!
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Thanks for the laugh Steve! 😂😂😂
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Glad you liked it Vivian! Enjoy your evening!😄😸
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Thanks Steve I did enjoy reading and yes I did chuckle. Have a great weekend too.
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Good to know!! 😃😺
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Awesome 👏
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Glad you liked it!😄
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Very amusing
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Glad you liked it!😄
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😁😁 great touch of humor Steve 😸 especially the Parrot 😂 and beautiful pictures as well 👌
Have a great Sunday 😸🌞
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Glad you enjoyed it Huguette, the parrot one is good!😂 The day is starting off nice and sunny but very cool,🌞 only 12, hard to believe a temperature like that in July, even here!😀 Enjoy your Sunday as well!!😄🌞😸
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This weather is weird and nothing seems predictable so hopefully it will get warmer 🌞 have a great Sunday 🌞😸
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That is true, it’s 18C today with the sun shining! It should be warmer than that at night in July!😂 Oh well, it is sunny.😃🌞😺
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At least it’s sunny 😸😸🌞🌞
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Yes, better than rain!😃🌞😸
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Ha ha ha ! Steve 😍 You made my day. I know im late at reading your post. When life calls you me for trouble i had to face it, Optionless 😉. Why did she asked the eggs raw in a shell i mean RAW 🤔 and Thats alright lady?😳 is he blind 😂😂😂😂Enjoyed that one, ha ha clever parrot 😁 atlast the wise man ✨ Enjoyed your post steve ✨🤗
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Hey Simon, so glad you enjoyed the jokes! Sometimes it’s good to have a laugh or two,😂😹 or a smile as wide as a country sunrise as we say here! Enjoy your day Simon!!😃🌞😺
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Haha 😄😸😂 This is a good one!!
Your sense of humor is awesome 💕🤪😁
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Thanks Jyoti!! You made my day with that!😃😺I might do this once in a while just for something different.😄🌞😸Enjoy your evening!
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My pleasure dear ❤️❤️
Oh you too.this really made me laugh 😁😁
Have a great day 🤗💕
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Thanks Jyoti!! The day is getting better, even the sun is shining now!!😃😁🌞😺😻
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My pleasure 🌸
That’s awesome 💕
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😃🌞😺😻🌳
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😂😂😂 I’m already trained😂😂😂
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Glad you enjoyed this Stu!😂😹
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I so needed the laugh. Thanks 🙂
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Laughter is good at times for sure!😃
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