Hi everyone! I hope you are all feeling well today. It’s rather chilly and icy here today, a good day for staying indoors, with a cup of coffee and a good laugh. So, I decided to share more of my collection of jokes. Here you go, enjoy!
A man came into the pharmacy and said to the technician, “Do you have anything that will stop hiccups?”
The tech leaned over the counter and slapped the man’s face.
The man said “What did you do that for?”
The tech replied, “Well, you don’t have any hiccups now, do you?”
The man replied, “I never did. I came in for my wife out in the car.”
I was told that 70% of the population is not smart. I’m obviously with the other 40%.
A person calls a pet store: “Send me thirty-thousand cockroaches, at once.”
Astonished clerk: “What in the world do you want with thirty-thousand cockroaches?”
Caller: “I’m moving out today, and my lease says I must leave the premises in exactly the same condition I found them.”
You know you’re a bad cook when your doctor instructs you to eat out more often.
My boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. Later that morning he went out and got a small sign that read, “I’m the Boss.” He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: “Your wife called. She wants you to bring her sign back.”
On the way to preschool, a doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it.
Be still, my heart, thought the doctor, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps and be a doctor!
Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”
That’s all for this time, hopefully you were able to get a chuckle or two. More will be shared in the future. I hope your day is great and God bless!
Steve and Muffin.
© 2019 Steve McLeod.