Muffin’s Funnies! #30

Hi to everyone out there!😻 It big 3 0 time! I like getting to big stones with miles, it very exciting for me. I was out on balcony room with my human this morning, it fun out there. Especially when my human step on something when he just have bare feet. Then he jump and dance all over balcony room, but sometimes get too close to edge and that scary sort of even though there is big steel railing along edge and security net that cover front of balcony room so he not can fall off edge. I think. Anyway, not want to test theory, might not work. So, here is funnies for you for today!

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A LETTER FROM A COUNTRY BUMPKIN AT BOOT CAMP:

Dear Ma & Pa:

Am well. Hope you are. Tell brother Walt & Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile.

Tell them to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt & Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but it is not so bad, they git warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc….but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food. But tell Walt & Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed again. It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much.

We go on “route” marches, which the Drill Instructor says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat. The Drill Instructor is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors & Colonels just ride around & frown. They don’t bother you none. This next will kill Walt & Elmer with laughing.

I keep getting medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk and don’t move. And it ain’t shooting at you, like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. Be sure to tell Walt & Elmer to hurry & join before other fellers get into this setup & come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,
Gail

P.S. Speaking of shooting, enclosed is $200 towards a new barn roof & ma’s teeth. The city boys shoot craps, but not very good.

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A careful study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.

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A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns. I soon realized that toucan play that game.

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Our business professor was lecturing about different ways to bill customers. He asked, “Who can give me an example of a system where you are billed before you actually receive your goods?”

One student piped up, “Tuition!”

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While at the movies recently, I couldn’t hear the dialogue over the chatter of the two people sitting in front of me.

Finally I tapped one of them on the shoulder.  “Excuse me,” I said, “I can’t hear.”

“I should hope not! This is a private conversation.”

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Well, that all for today everyone! I hope you all have very nicest week!

Muffin. 😽 ©2025 Muffin McLeod.