Wednesday With Tuesday’s Laughter! #9

Hi everyone! I seem to be a bit behind time with my posts this week, sorry about that. It has been a very rough week with my health, worst I have had in months. However, I’m not here to talk about that, it’s time for some humor! And laughs. And chuckles. Or maybe even some giggles and groans. A smile perhaps? Oh well, let’s get started and see what we have for this evening…

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Someone in our neighborhood put a huge sofa out by the curb for trash collection.

Since it was in good shape, many motorists slowed down for a look. But when they saw how enormous it was, they’d leave.

Eventually a compact car pulled up, and two men got out. “This I’ve got to see,” I thought.

They removed the cushions, turned the sofa upside down, and shook it hard.

Then they picked up all the coins that tumbled out and drove off.

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I would imagine if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive
you crazy.

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If things get better with age, then I must be getting close to absolute perfection.

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A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks.  He asked why. The waiter said “Chopsticks are provided only on request.” 

“But,” the man countered, “if you gave your patrons chopsticks, you wouldn’t have to pay someone to wash all the forks.”

“True,” the waiter shot back, “but we would have to hire three more people to clean up the mess.”

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Problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. Solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

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Trying to come to the aid of his father, who was stopped by an officer for speeding, the lil’ tyke piped up:

“Yeah? Well, if we were speeding, so were you!”

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Cured ham? No thanks, pal. Cured of what? What if it has a relapse on my plate?

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By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first quarter was almost over.

“Why are you so late?” his friend asked.

“I had to toss a coin to decide between going to the opera with my wife and coming to the game.”

“How long could that have taken you?” he asked.

“Well, I had to toss it 30 times.”

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Scientists can now grow human vocal cords from stem cells in the lab. The results speak for themselves.

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I’ve been experimenting with breeding racing deer. People have accused me of just trying to make a fast buck.

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That’s it for today everyone, have a great day and God bless!

Steve. 😃 ©2026 Steve McLeod.