Weekly Fun! #2

Greetings everyone! I guess everyone is getting ready for the first weekend of July, which of course means that it’s the first weekend of July! Okay, not very exciting I admit. Unless you live in the US like many of my readers. Happy 250th Birthday to you! As a country, that is, not individually. You know what I mean. Right? Anyway, moving right along…for the rest of us it’s basically a normal weekend, unless you are on vacation right now, then it’s a special weekend. I’m not. So it’s not special, except…it’s the first weekend of July! So that makes it special. Okay, admittedly I’m having trouble figuring out what to say today. It happens. A lot lately. Therefore, I will stop talking and get with the humor…

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The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she said. “One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free.”

One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said, “I’m not free. I’m four.”

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I’m only here for the liber-tea and the fireworks.

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It may be time to diet & exercise if…

– you try to do a few pushups and discover that certain body parts refuse to leave the floor.

– your children look through your wedding album and want to know who Daddy’s first wife was.

– you get winded just saying the words “ten-kilometer run.”

– you analyze your body honestly and decide what you should develop first is your sense of humor.

– you step on a talking scale and it says, “Come back when you’re alone.”

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My wife and I can’t count calories and have the bodies to prove it.

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Joe’s wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the “miracle” products, she asked, “Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?”

Looking over her carefully, Joe replied, “Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five.”

“Oh, you flatterer!” she gushed.

“Hey, wait a minute!” Joe interrupted. “I haven’t added them up yet.”

Joe ended up sleeping on their old, lumpy sofa and making his own meals for the next two weeks.

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In my experience, adulthood is mostly piling up stuff on surfaces and then eventually having to clean those surfaces.

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Furniture Salesman: “This sofa will seat five people with no problems.”

Me: “Where am I going to find five people with no problems?”

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Microchips: What’s left at the bottom of the bag when it reaches you.

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Have a great weekend everyone and God bless!

Steve. ©2026 Steve McLeod.