Weekly Fun! #7

Hi everyone! Welcome back to another fun time with our weekly fun funnies for you to enjoy! I think it has been a while since we last had one of these, so, here we are once again. Our weather has cooled off substantially now, feels more like fall with cooler days and nights. Our weather always changes suddenly in August, but not normally so early in the month. Usually it changes around mid month, or the third week of the month. Days are so much shorter already, making nights longer, which also gives it that traditional fall feeling. Our summers are definitely short around here, too short for me. But, most people here are enjoying the cooler weather. I will admit, the hot weather really affected me negatively this year, however, since getting the air conditioner it really helped a lot. We might get a hot day or two yet, but those heat waves are a thing of the past for this year. I’m sure there are some of you out there that would enjoy some of this cooler weather too. But for me it just seems a bit sad that summer is gone already. Oh well. That means we need some fun funnies to bring those smiles smiling once more. I hope you enjoy these today…

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“I had the strangest dream last night,” a man was telling his psychiatrist.

“I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. You can imagine, I found this very disturbing, and in fact, I woke up immediately, and couldn’t get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed waiting for morning to come, and then I got up, drank a Coke, and came right over here for my appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream.”

The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding: “A Coke? You call that a breakfast?”

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Dogs can’t operate MRI scanners, but cats can.

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The other day one of the neighborhood kids bet me 20 dollars that his dog could jump higher than my house.

I said, “You’re on! I figured this would be a good time to teach him a lesson.”

I lost the bet, of course, because my house can’t jump at all.

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Don’t play dumb with me … I’m better at it!

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The relatives of the family’s rich mother gathered for the reading of her will after her long awaited death.

“Being of sound mind,” read the lawyer, “I spent every last cent before I died. That’s why you never heard from me for over a year, I was travelling the world.”

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Don’t give up on your dreams; keep sleeping.

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A New York boy was being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin.

“Is it true that an alligator won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?”

The cousin smirked and replied, “Depends on how fast ya carry the flashlight.”

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A teacher sees a student entering the classroom, his hands are very dirty.

She stopped him and said, “John, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?”

Smiling the boy replied, “I think I would be too polite to mention it.”

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A 55-year-old man who was born on May 5, had been married 5 years, had 5 children, and made $55,555.55 a year. Of course, his lucky number was 5.

The man receives a phone call from a friend. The friend informs him that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening.

Excitedly, the man withdraws $5,555.00 cash from his bank account, goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5.

Sure enough the horse comes in fifth.

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I went to the Air and Space Museum, but there was nothing there.

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A young man named John applied for a salesman’s job at a big department store. It was one of the biggest stores in the world – you could get anything there.

The boss said, “You can start tomorrow and I’ll come and see you when we close up.”

At the end of the next business day the boss came around and asked, “How many sales did you make today?”

“One,” said the young salesman.

“Only one?” blurted the boss, “Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?”

“Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four dollars,” said John.

“How did you manage that?” asked the boss.

“Well, this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his car probably wouldn’t be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe version we have.”

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, “You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?”

“No,” answered John, “he came in to buy a present for his mother-in-law, who’ll come to visit on , I Friday, so I said to him, ‘Well, since your weekend’s messed up, you might as well go fishing.'”

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If the grass is greener on the other side, maybe there’s more manure.

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Well, that’s all for today, I hope you all have a great day and God bless!

Steve. ©2026 Steve McLeod.