Weekly Fun! #12

Hello everyone and welcome back to another fun funnies post for you to enjoy! It has been one of those days, um, actually, one of those weeks would be the better way to say it. Sometimes things don’t go just the way we want them to. At least that’s the way it works with me at times. Well, ‘quite frequently’ is a better way to say it. Okay, I will admit it happens ‘very frequently’. Anyway, maybe I better leave that for another post where I have more time to talk about it. Well, I mean more space to write about it. So, today it’s time for more fun instead, in a different kind of way. I hope you enjoy today’s selections.

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At the wedding, the pastor looked at the groom and said, “Repeat after me.”

The groom said, “After me.”

The pastor looked at the bride and asked, “Is he serious?”

The bride said, “No sir, his name is Gary.”

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Salad eater: “You know, you can only eat that steak because a cow died!”

Steak eater: “Maybe it would have lived if you weren’t always eating its food.”

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Two guys came into the retirement home cafeteria whooping and hollering; excitedly slapping each other on the back as they were getting their food.

The attendant asked what they were celebrating and they announced, “We finished a puzzle in only four months!”

The attendant was confused and said, “What’s the big deal?”

One of the men joyfully answered, “The box top said ‘2 to 4 years’!”

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My neighbor rang on my doorbell at 3 am… can you believe it!? Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

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I’ve always pictured myself taking selfies.

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Once again, somebody glued my deck of cards together. I just can’t deal with it.

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What is life like under the sea? Is it a dogfish eat dogfish world? Is everyone united for a common porpoise? Or do they all split off in their own special groupers? Well, one tragic story indicates it’s not so perfect down there.

There was once a brilliant sturgeon on the staff of the community health fishility. He was in fact one of its flounders. Wiser than salmon, a fin fellow who would never shrimp from his responsibilities, he was successful and happy.

One day one of his patients, a mere whipper snapper, started trouting around telling everyone the sturgeon’s treatments had made him more eel than he had been and then conched him with a malpractice suit. Well, the sturgeon was in a real pickerel.

The board chased him off the staff and demanded his oyster. But fortunately the case smelt to high heaven so the judge denied the plaintiff’s clam.

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“Write a sentence about a public servant,” said the teacher.

The small boy wrote, “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.”

The teacher took the boy aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked.

“Sure,” said the young boy confidently. “It means carrying a child.”

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LAX airport security has led to a string of IKEA robberies.

Police are building their case but still piecing together the evidence. The detective named to lead the case is Allen Wrench whose sidekick is Phillip.

They are right on the case, putting the screws to key suspects.

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My wife told me to put ketchup on the shopping list. Now I can’t read anything.

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Well, that’s all for today, I hope you all have a great week and God bless!

Steve. ©2026 Steve McLeod