For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Hi everyone! Happy Friday to you! Also, Happy March to you too! I not sure why March is happy, but my human say it is so it must be happy. He better be right or he going to have sore legs again. He have better screams when I bite back of legs, so it more fun that way. Hehehe! But March not look different than February to me. Still cold, still cloudy, still snow on ground. Yet today is first day of spring my human say. I say calendar not agree. He say not matter, calendar is crazy. So I look up and he right, today first day of meteor with logical first day of spring. Human speak have weird words sometimes. Oh well, still look like winter to me. Here is funny for today, enjoy!
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A police officer pulled a guy over for speeding and had the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver’s license?
Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI (Driving Under the Influence).
Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?
Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by more police cars, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation.
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who’s car is this?
Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
The trunk was opened; no body.
Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I’ll bet he told you I was speeding, too.
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Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and 3 sizes smaller?
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That all for today everyone, hope you have very nicest weekend and I see you on Monday!
Muffin.
©2024 Muffin McLeod.
The smell of pancakes and coffee was great, but, the sight of Muffin with an envelope in her mouth was not so good. I woke up Jennifer, whom I have introduced to everyone as my wife Sky. And if anyone checks into our list they will find Jennifer under Sky’s name and Sky will appear under Jennifer’s name. Just so no one finds out easily.
Kat was already awake but Muffin beat her to the envelope that someone had slipped under the door. It had my name on it, so I took a look inside. It was a very simple note which read, “Leave or… then there was a drawing of a woman with a noose around her neck and the name Sky.” Was someone referring to Jennifer, or the real Sky at home?
I could not take chances so I called Rock right away, but he did not answer his phone. That was odd for Rock, he always answers quickly. It was afternoon at home, so he should be awake. I called Annelie next and she answered right away. “What happened to Rock?” I asked, “He did not answer his phone.” “Oh, uh, he was digging in the garden all morning,” she said, “so he needed to shower.”
“Are any of the guys around?” I asked. “Um, no, they went home after lunch since there was nothing going on and…” “Never mind,” I said, “I will call them, but have Rock call me as soon as possible please, this is an emergency.” “Oh, wait, I can get him right away Steve,” she said and off she went. “What is wrong Steve?” asked Rock. “Push that Code Red A2 button, now,” I told him.
“Um, I cannot, it stopped working, the whole alarm system stopped,” he said. “Then why are the guys not fixing it?” I asked, “I want everyone in the library, 5 minutes ago!” “Right Steve!” he exclaimed. Then I pushed the Code Red A2 on my phone, which should get through to all the team member phones. It did work and the guys were on their way back to the house fast. Rock called when everyone was there.
“I do not know if this picture is meant for Sky here, or Sky there,” I said, “but to be safe, I want 4 bodyguards around Sky and the girls 24 hours a day, plus Rascal and Snow at night.” The two cats sat up nice and tall. Well, little Snow sat as tall as she could next to Rascal. Snow is our smallest cat weighing 7 pounds, while Rascal (being an Ocelot) weighs 32 pounds. He is our largest cat.
I also asked about the alarm system and told them to get it fixed right away. Miles said they could not even see anything wrong with it, but for some reason it does not work. “Then put in a new alarm system,” I told him, “we need one that works.” He said they would get at it right away. Annelie then told me something about the 2 boyfriends that just came in while we were talking.
Both of them are members of a small gang in the area that seems to be involved in selling drugs, but nothing else, except some minor thefts now and then. Mark has a gang name of Lynx and Harvey is called Musk, for muskrat. He is their information man, he can usually find out whatever info the gang wants. But if they are just a small gang, then why are they interested in us? Or is it this house that interests them?
“Most likely it is the house Steve,” said Annelie, “doubtful they have even heard of us. Though it is likely they are affiliated with a larger gang somewhere, so I will keep checking on that.” “More than ever Steve,” said Rock, “be careful, I do not like that death warning. For a small time gang, that is odd.” “Yes, I agree,” I said, “but that note may have come from someone else. I have a feeling we are not alone out here.”
“We can be there tomorrow to help out Steve,” said Rock. “No, not yet,” I said, “I want you there to look after things, including my family.” “Will do Steve,” he said. We went down for breakfast and I had the cats check all food before we ate. “What are the cats doing Steve?” asked Hope. “They have been trained to sniff out drugs in food,” I said, “many times people have tried to poison us.”
Hope stopped eating and looked at her pancakes. Muffin went over and sniffed them for her, then walked away. “They are safe to eat Hope,” I said, and when we started to eat, then she began eating again too. Patty had also stopped and Ginger sniffed her food. Oddly, Pinky did not stop eating, she did not seem to be concerned at all which would seem to suggest she already knew the food was safe.
An interesting little detail. I asked a little about their boyfriends, they did not seem to mind answering questions about them. They both met their boyfriends at the same time, at a friend’s party. Apparently another guy tried to get the attention of Hope, but she was not interested. That is also kind of odd since she has always wanted a boyfriend. Suddenly Jennifer yelled “Danger, get down!…”
To Be Continued.
©2024 Steve McLeod.