Hello everyone! Just thought I would share a few nice chuckles with you again today. I always enjoy the nice simple jokes. However, please do not send me any jokes, I already have more than enough and I just want to share a few of them now and then. Thanks. A little laughter is good for everyone, especially if you are having one of those ‘down’ kind of days. So, like a couple weeks ago, here is a new batch to share with you. I hope you can at least get a smile or two, and maybe even a chuckle. For a smile as wide as a country sunrise, here we go:
As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the military base where he was working.
Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone.
She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor.
“Give this to your husband,” he said, thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. “He’s been yelling for it for 15 minutes!”
I was packing for my business trip and my three-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, “Daddy, look at this” and stuck out two of her fingers.
Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, “Daddy’s gonna eat your fingers,” pretending to eat them.
I went back to packing, looked up again and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.
I said, “What’s wrong, honey?”
She replied, “What happened to my booger?”
HUSBAND: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
WIFE: I clean the toilet.
HUSBAND: How does that help?
WIFE: I use your toothbrush.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t me yet.
I don’t trip over things, I don random gravity checks!
When I was a child, I thought naptime was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it just feels like a small vacation!
I’m planning to retire and live off my savings–not sure what I’ll do the second week.
I hope you all enjoy the remainder of your weekend and God bless!
Steve and Muffin.
© 2019 Steve McLeod.