Hello everyone on this cool autumn day! I thought it would be a good time to share a few chuckles with you again from my collection of jokes. These are not my jokes but I do have permission to share them here. So, sit back, relax, and hopefully, chuckle a bit.
SIGNS THAT YOUR NEW CAR IS A LEMON (aka dud)
~ As you leave the used car lot, you see the owner rush out with a gigantic smile and high-five the salesman.
~ You notice that the car phone they threw in “for free” has a direct line to Moe’s Towing Company.
~ The booster cables are not in the trunk but are permanently soldered to the battery.~ The hood has been equipped with a push-button device for quick and easy opening.
~ The “Purchased From” sticker at the bottom of the rear license plate has been removed.
~ You get a “Good Luck” card from the previous owner.
~ As you drive up to a service station for gas, the mechanic opens the big door and waves you in.
~ When you leave for work the next morning, you notice a tow truck parked about a block from your driveway. As you go by, it silently falls in behind you.
The little “engine” warning light on the dashboard comes on and reads, “Me Again”.
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (AND LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.”
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t awoken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It’s 5:00 AM. Wake up.”
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”
The gentleman replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will 3 times!!”
Well, I hope you have enjoyed today’s chuckles. Remember, it’s always a good thing to relax and laugh once in a while. It has also been proven that it’s good for your health. Enjoy your Wednesday everyone and God bless!
Steve and Muffin.
© 2019 Steve McLeod.