The Investigators, Inc., Nowhere. Chapter 1.

Well, it’s only a couple more days till the wedding, I’m both excited and nervous. Why nervous? I have no idea. But maybe it’s because things are going so smoothly right now, and that’s not normal. After all, it’s been 2 weeks and nothing has gone wrong, that is remarkable in itself. The cats are sure excited though. Muffin has her cute little dress ready and Mr. Cat with his suit jacket and bow tie. Right now Linnea is over with the girls at the other chateau working on her dress. I couldn’t believe how much that dress cost.

But Baldwin is paying for the whole wedding and he wanted the very best, even for the cats. The cats and I are searching around our chateau right now. We remembered, finally, about the metal door the cats had found before, so I removed all the grass and dirt that covered the door and opened it. There was steep stairs going down so we followed them. At the bottom another door which wasn’t locked so in we went. What’s this? I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling. It is sure in rough shape. I look around, I’m lying on a small bed in what looks like a very old room. I slowly sit up. My head hurts.

There’s two cats sitting looking out the window. They come running over and onto the bed with me. Meow,meow=You awake finally, you sleep long time. Meow.=Yep, we getting worried, maybe you not wake up. I stare at them. Talking cats. I must still be sleeping and this is a dream. Meow,meow?=Why you look at us funny like that? Meow?=You feeling okay? “I’m fine,” I said, “but this is some weird dream.” Meow,meow=You not dreaming, you awake. I stare at the gray cat. “You’re talking,” I said, “that proves I’m dreaming, cats don’t talk.” Meow,meow=We cats, and we talk, you know that, you my human, I your cat. I keep staring. “You’re my cat?,” I ask, “then why don’t I remember you?

To be honest, I’m sitting here trying hard to remember my name…and I can’t.” Meow!=Oh, I know, I read about this, he maybe has am sneezing. I stare at the black and white cat. “Oh, you mean amnesia,” I said, “maybe that’s it. Oh, my head hurts so bad.” Meow,meow=Maybe you hit head, stop memory from working. Meow.=Maybe needs chomp chomp. “What’s chomp chomp?”, I ask. Meow,meow=That when we bite legs to make you think better. “Hmm, at least I would know for sure if I’m dreaming or not,” I said, “okay, do it.” Chomp! Chomp! “AAAAAAA!!!!!, hey, that hurt,” I said. Meow=It supposed to hurt, or it not work, how you feel? “I still don’t remember who I am,” I said, “but I do believe I’m awake. But that’s impossible, cats don’t talk.” Meow,meow=We already go through this, we are cats and we do talk.

“This is crazy,” I said, “do we live here?” Meow,meow=No, not live here, we not know where we are. We live in great big house. Meow=Yes, it called chateau, almost like castle. I stare at him. “What are you names?,” I ask them. Meow,meow=My name Muffin, he Mr. Cat. Then Muffin starts crying. “Hey kitten, why the tears?”, I ask. Meow,meow=You not remember me. I pick her up and hug her. “Hey, I don’t remember anything right now,” I said, “you two need to help me, tell me something about myself.” Meow=You engaged, get married tomorrow. Meow,meow=Yep, her name Linnea. And you a PI, we your assistants, we PI cats. We been on lots of cases. “Wow, and I don’t remember a thing about any of that,” I said, “it’s like…like I’m nowhere…and it’s not a fun place to be.”

Meow.=Maybe we should look around, find out where we are. “Now that’s a good idea,” I said, “I still have a hard time believing you can talk, sorry about that.” Meow.=That okay, we understand, we help. Meow,meow.=Yep, we need you back to normal, we try hard to help. It too bad someone take your phone and our collars, we can’t call for help now. “Hmm, never thought about a phone,” I said, “you looked for it already?” Meow,meow.=Yep, look all over, not here, help us put on backpacks and we go explore. “Hmm, good idea, shouldn’t leave things behind, we might need them,” I said. I put their backpacks on, they explained how.

Then I grabbed mine and a flash of pain came in my lower back. “My back,” I said, “what terrible pain.” Meow,meow=That where you get shot by ex girlfriend on one of our cases. I stare at Muffin. “She shot me?”, I ask. Meow.=Yep, then you shoot her, she died. She was nice but turned bad guy. “Oh,” was all I could say. We looked around the house which was falling apart with the kitchen the last on the list. On the table was some fresh sandwiches and a bottle of water. “Well, at least someone left me some food,” I said. Meow.=We have own food in backpack. We went outside to sit and eat. The yard was all grown over, small trees and shrubs and long grass. We sat under a big oak tree to eat. “I’m scared,” I said, “being nowhere is not fun.”

To Be Continued.

©2021 Steve McLeod.