Weekly Fun! #13

Greetings everyone! Welcome back to some fun funnies for your enjoyment. It was a beautiful day here, even when the clouds moved in and blocked the sun. At least the temperature remained somewhat on the warm side. That’s providing you consider 64F, or 18C, to be on the warm side. It will be a bit cooler tomorrow at only 56F, or 13C, a more typical fall day temperature. Anyway, let’s get with the chuckles for today!

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Patient: “Doctor, it’s been a month since my last visit, and I still feel miserable.”

Doctor: “Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?”

Patient: “I sure did. The bottle said ‘Keep tightly closed’.”

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At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?”

The little boy nodded.

“Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?”

The little boy nodded again.

“So,” the coach continued, “when a strike is called, or you’re out at first, you don’t argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?”

The little boy nodded once more.

“Good,” said the coach, “now go over there and explain it to your mother.”

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Who has time to worry about tomorrow when there are so many bridges to burn today?

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A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said: “Your honor, a juror is asleep.”

The judge ruled: “You put him to sleep; you wake him up.”

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Teens are much like cats:

> Neither teens nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.

> You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being; no teen in his or her right mind wants to be seen in public with his or her parents.

> Cats and teens can lie on the living-room sofa for hours without moving, barely breathing.

> Cats and teens yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy — a sense of complete and utter boredom.

> Cats and teens do not improve anyone’s furniture.

> Cats have nine lives.  Teens live as if they did.

Thus, if you have teenagers, it is a good idea to consult a guidebook on cats. Remember to put out plenty of food and do not make any sudden moves in their direction. They will finally come to you for some affection and comfort, and it will be a triumphant moment for all concerned.

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The boss asked Mark to start the presentation with a joke. He shared his paycheck as the first slide.

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Letter home from college: “Thank you so-o-o-o much for the student loans to get me through college. I don’t think I can ever repay you.”

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As I was doing my jogging exercise on the road this morning, I got mugged!

I told the police, “First, I got hit by a violin, then a clarinet and finally a tuba.”

The policeman said, “I think this was an orchestrated attack.”

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Bad weather reports are more likely to be accurate than good weather reports.

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A scientist crossed a boomerang with a snake. His colleague warned him that this could come back to bite him.

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After all these years, the police have finally arrested the notorious dessert bandit. They now have him in custardy.

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Well, that is all for today, have a great week everyone and God bless!

Steve. ©2026 Steve McLeod