Fun With Grover! #19

Good morning and Happy Monday to everyone! Grover has been busy all week trying to find the right humorous humor to share with everyone and he finally found what he was looking for! So, let us get right into the fun right away…

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: “Dr. Geezer’s clinic. Get your treatment for $500. If not cured, get back $1,000.”

Doctor Young (who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know a thing about medicine) thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000 so he went to Dr. Geezer’s clinic.

Dr. Young: “Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me??”

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please get 5 drops from the bottle from drawer 12 and put it in Dr. Young’s mouth.”

Dr. Young: “Aaagh! — This is gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young: “I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything.”

Dr. Geezer: “Nurse, please bring the bottle from drawer 12 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”

Dr. Young: “Oh, no you don’t — that’s gasoline!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”

Dr. Young (now having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.

Dr. Young: “My eyesight has become weak — I can hardly see anything!!!”

Dr. Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that, so here’s $1000 back.” (Gives him a $10 bill)

Dr. Young: “But this is only $10!”

Dr. Geezer: “Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500.”

Moral of story: Just because you’re “Young” doesn’t mean that you can outsmart an “old Geezer.”

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Life hack…You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed simply by forgetting your wife’s birthday.

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Lawyer: “Well Barney, so you want me to defend you? Have you got any money?”

Barney: “No sir. I ain’t got no money, but I do got a 1928 Ford Car!”

Lawyer: “Well you can raise money on that. Now let’s see, just what do they accuse you of stealing?”

Barney: “A 1928 Ford Car.”

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I talk to myself, because sometimes I need expert advice.

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Well, there we have it for this fine Monday morning, I hope you all enjoyed Grover’s selections for today. Have a wonderful Monday and God bless!

Steve, Muffin and Grover.

©2022 Steve McLeod.

The Investigators, Inc. The Warning Mystery. Chapter 4. Hunting Mandar.

“Yes, there is something there, a device of some kind,” he said, “it must be designed to stop your heart at midnight Monday. It is too close to your heart, I am not skilled enough to remove it, we need a good surgeon for that.” “I am sure Baldwin can find a surgeon,” I said, “you contact him and let him know what is needed. We will go back home for now.” I told Rock he could drive a little slower now.

Once home I told everyone what we found out. That doctor had put a device next to my heart which is designed to kill me on Monday at midnight. So, unless it can be removed, I am dead. It is now noon on day 4, only 3 and a half days left. And no surgeon is willing to try removing this device. Then Annelie came into the library. “I have news!” she exclaimed. “Rossana called and let me know where we can find Mandar!”

He was in London, not far away, and we were in the air and on our way very quickly. Apparently, Mandar goes to eat at a certain restaurant every evening, and he eats rather late which is perfect for us as it gives us more time to get things set up. “What if Mandar changes his schedule?” asked Jennifer. “Mandar is a man that likes schedules and sticks to them perfectly,” I said, “so he will be there when we are.”

Sure enough Mandar came out of his hotel at the precise time and he was quite surprised to see Jenny, Sigurbjorn and I standing there next to his car. “My, my, what a nice surprise,” he said quite cheerfully. He had 6 men with him. I just nodded my head and Rock took care of 3 men while Kristina and Angel took care of the other 3. “What is going on?” asked Mandar, quite shocked by our actions. “Get in,” I said, “we are going for a drive.”

We all got in his big car and Rock started to drive. Mandar was looking a little nervous now. “I will take your cane, if you do not mind”, I said, and took it from him. I then put a blindfold on him. “I am sorry to subject you to this behavior”, I said, “but I assure you it is quite necessary. Back there my team would much have preferred to just kill you and your men, but I managed to hold them back.” “I must say, I am very bewildered by your actions, my good man,” he said, “would it be too much to ask what this is all about?”

“We will have to wait until we arrive at our destination,” I said, “sorry that you will be late for your dinner, if you make it at all. But do not worry too much, your answers to questions will determine if I let you go or not. Here we are at our destination.” “That was a rather long drive,” he said, “I am getting rather hungry, and I see you have done your homework about me again.”

We took him into the building and up to the second floor. Inside a room Rock searched Mandar for any other weapons. He actually told us what he had and where. Then I took his blindfold off and told the others to leave the room. Jenny did not want to go but I just looked at her and she left. “She is a wonderful woman, my good man,” he said, “do not lose her.”

“I am not planning to,” I said with a smile, “but, now to business.” “I would certainly appreciate knowing what is happening,” he said. Just the way he said that and the look on his face convinced me he was innocent, but I had to continue anyway and see what I can find out. “That doctor you recommended for me,” I said, “you obviously know him quite well.”

“Why yes,” he said, “I have used his services many times, he is a rather good and dependable doctor.” “Dependable to whom?” I asked, “that man has killed me, and you are the prime suspect in hiring him to do so.” Poor Mandar did not know what to say for a moment. “My good man, speak sensibly, not in riddles,” he said, “I can see you are not dead.”

“But I am,” I said, “and that doctor did it, obeying your orders, and now he has disappeared, and we cannot find him.” Mandar looked totally shocked now. “I did no such thing,” he said, “why would I want you killed? I thought we had left each other on rather good terms. Speak plainly, please.” “That doctor put a device next to my heart,” I said…

To Be Continued.

©2022 Steve McLeod.