Steve`s Country
For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
A Pun For Fun.
Hi everyone! It’s time for a bit of fun once again, our first funny for this year actually. Aside from my usual writing at least. I hope you can get a smile or two from some of these anyway. So dive in for some pun!
~ A good pun is its own reword.
~ A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
~ A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.
~ My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it’s just kiln time.
~ Dijon vu: The same mustard as before.
~ Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
~ I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
~ I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the ax.
~Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
~ Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
~ Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
~ Acupuncture is a jab well done.
~ Without geometry, life is pointless.
~ When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
~ Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.
~ A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
~ Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
~ When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
~ The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
~ A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
~ A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
~ A plateau is a high form of flattery.
~ Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
~ Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
There you have it, for bad or worse. Just so you know, I did not make these up, I have collected these over the last few years. Enjoy the remainder of your day, or beginning of your day, whichever the case may be, and God bless!
Steve and Muffin.
© 2020 Steve McLeod.
Winter Insulators Again.
It’s a sunny day. The snow is deep. And it’s cold. Any sensible person would be inside drinking COFFEE. But no. Dad and I are after insulators again. Amazing. In February yet. One would think we would have learned from last time. But no. Here we are again. Dad figured it would be a great time to get into this one section of the CPR. Walking along the tracks it would be a 5 mile hike. But now it is just a short distance across this lake. Didn’t look too short. The snow was deep. So we used snowshoes. I did like snowshoeing but not at this temp.
We strap on the snowshoes. Dad starts off. He doesn’t really move. Odd. Now he starts leaning forward. Waving his arms. He did that a lot. Especially when he was falling. But why would he be falling? He yelled, you’re standing on my snowshoe! Oh, so I was. I lifted my foot. Figured that is what he wanted me to do. Wasn’t really a good idea. He kept going forward. Faster now. Floomph. Face first in the snow. He was still waving his arms. Or at least trying to, looked more like he was trying to swim in that deep snow. Amazing.
He finally managed to clear the snow from around his face and said to help him get up. Dad was a bit bigger than me. So lifting him up was out of the question. I decided to roll him over. Figured it would be easier to pull him over. So I grabbed his arm and pulled. He yelled. But it worked. The snow was about 3 feet deep here so getting him standing again was no easy matter. Had to take his snowshoes off. Dad got up by leaning on the snowshoes and me pulling on one arm. Then he went down again. Still standing though. Okay. The snow was deeper than 3 feet. Had to dig him out. Again. Reminded me of the last trip.
Only this time I had brought a shovel. Which worked better for digging dad out of the snow. Good thing we were close to the car still since that is where the shovel was. Dad said to be careful, which was kind of odd. The shovel did slip at one point and I got dad right in the stomach. He groaned amazingly loud. Hold your arms over your head so I don’t hit them, I said. Dad agreed that would be a good idea. But as I threw the shovel full of snow off to the side the shovel clipped dad’s elbow, he yelled and the whole shovel full of snow went on his head.
He yelled again because some of that cold snow went down his back. Bonehead! Finally he was out and strapped his snowshoes back on while I put the shovel back. Amazing that he still wanted to try this. Good thing I was here, I said. True, said dad, I might not have fallen in the snow. Not sure what he meant by that. Off we went across the lake. It is sunny. But cold. Very cold.
To be continued.
Steve and Muffin.
© 2020 Steve McLeod.
Steve`s Country 