For a smile as wide as a country sunrise
Greetings everyone! How are you all doing on this fine day? It was another nice, sunny and warm day here. Our little town and surrounding area is still cleaning up after that major thunderstorm came through here on Monday afternoon. The total rainfall was 4 inches (10cm) over the two hour storm. Some locations, even right in town, received 5 or more inches (12.5cm plus). We did get some hail too, but nothing too serious that way, mostly small hail. Anyway, more on that tomorrow, maybe, if I remember, which I should, hopefully. Anyway, I think I just said that didn’t I? Oh well, on to the funnies for today…
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A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa and takes her faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and, before long, discovers that he is lost.
Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch. The dachshund thinks, “OK, I’m in deep trouble now!” Then he notices some bones on the ground nearby, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here.” Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride and a look of terror comes over him. The leopard slinks away into the trees and says to himself, “Whew! That was close. That dachshund nearly had me.”
Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection, so he takes off after the leopard. But the dachshund sees him heading after the cat and figures something must be up.
The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of, and says, “Here monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine.”
The dachshund sees the leopard coming toward him, with the monkey on his back, and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” Instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet. Just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says, “Where’s that monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard!”
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Taking steps to overcome my hiking addiction. I’m not out of the woods yet.
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I’ve decided to buy my wife a used chess set for her birthday. I’ll be buying it at a pawn shop.
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My girlfriend said it was either her or my sugar addiction. The decision was a piece of cake.
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Wouldn’t it be nice if you read a medicine bottle that says: Warning – May cause permanent weight loss, remove wrinkles, and increase energy.
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Heading into the store…
Wife: “All we need is milk and a loaf of bread. This will be quick.”
Me: “I don’t believe you.”
Wife: “Why?!”
Me: “Well, for starters you just grabbed a cart.”
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A guy had a skunk in his basement! He called animal control and asked what to do.
The officer said to make a trail of bread crumbs or cat food from the basement out into the yard.
The guy called back and said: “Now I have two skunks in my basement!”
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If there’s one person you don’t want to interrupt in the middle of a sentence, it’s a judge.
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A businesswoman ordered a beautiful, expensive floral arrangement for the opening of her new outlet, and she was furious when it arrived with a ribbon which read, “May You Rest In Peace.”
Apologizing for the mishap, the florist finally got the businesswoman to calm down with the reminder that in some funeral home stood an arrangement bearing the words, “Good Luck in Your New Location.”
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Sign on a desk in a reception room: “We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.”
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That’s all for this week everyone, have a great week and God bless!
Steve. ©2026 Steve McLeod
I was certainly taken on a long trip to Helene’s home, or was it very long? It was definitely a long time but we could have been traveling in circles for much of that time without going far. Somehow I imagine we didn’t go far, that would be Helene’s way of doing things, however, she might have changed just to confuse me. That would also be something she would do. She can be quite confusing at times and that also makes it hard to find her and stop her.
Most people we deal with are very predictable which makes things a lot easier. Oh well. She still hasn’t told me why she wants me even though I have asked. She just said we will keep business separate from meals, it’s better for digestion she said. I had to agree with her about that. I did thank her for treating the girls nicely and letting them go quickly. She said the girls were very nice and polite so they were treated the same way. She also mentioned that Steffie was quite bold and energetic. I had to agree with her about that as well. After breakfast we talked a bit.
“I want you to help get someone out of prison,” she said, “there is a young woman who is serving a life sentence for a murder she did not commit.” “Are you absolutely certain she is innocent?” I asked. “Yes, that is why I want your organization to help her,” she said, “you can do some amazing things, remarkable things, even hard to explain things. If anyone can prove her innocence, you can. If not, then rescue her from that torture and give her to me and I will hide her.” “And keeping her hidden the rest of her life is better than prison?” I asked, “There really is not much difference if you can’t get out and live your life, even if she has a nice place to live.”
“You have done it with some of the women who work for you,” she reminded me, “you gave them a new identity and they can live freely, even though they are guilty of crimes.” “Yes, that is true,” I said, “we could do the same for you if you wanted to change your ways and join us.” “Did I say that?” she asked smiling, “I am quite happy where I am.” “Somehow I don’t believe that,” I said, “however, let’s stay with the present problem of proving this woman is innocent. I will need a name.”
“Her name is Alexandra Holden, she is 18 years old, no parents, no family except for one brother who inherited the family fortune because Alexandra went to prison. That was a stipulation in the family will, no child in prison would inherit any part of the family estate. The estate is worth around 20 million US dollars, not really a great deal of money, especially if it had to be split between the two children. I believe he set her up so she would be convicted of murder. His name is Patrick. The defense lawyer was a total joke, the so-called evidence was so good that it had to be planted or just fabricated and didn’t actually exist.
The jury took 15 minutes to come to their verdict. Interestingly, 5 of them have died since the trial. Now, we need to call your team so that they can see you are okay and I can explain some things to them.” We talked a bit more and then made the video call. “Good morning Investigators,” said Helene, “I want you to know that Steve is alive and well, as you can see for yourself.” I waved at this point but said nothing, which I agreed to before we made this call. “I’m sure you are wondering about that clue and the jigsaw puzzle pieces that Erika had,” began Helene, “think of this as a little test of your skills.
Figure out the clue and it will lead you to another spot with another clue and more pieces of that jigsaw puzzle. The completed puzzle will show you where to find Steve, and really, you should be able to find him without completing the puzzle. I promise to look after Steve and he will have full freedom within my house, providing he behaves himself and doesn’t do anything stupid. Then I would be forced to lock him up. I will give you 5 days to find Steve. With your amazing skills that should be enough time. Now I will let Steve do some talking.”
“Alexandra Holden and her brother Patrick,” I said, “I want their life history from the time they were born until the present. Alexandra is in prison, convicted of murder, she may be totally innocent, trapped by her brother. Check out the two lawyers involved, plus the judge and jury. Five of the jurors have died since the court case. Alex, her preferred name, is only 18. Cristy, get your computer girls on this right now. Jennifer, get some good lawyers to go over this case thoroughly.” “Is kidnapping Steve the best way to get us to work for you Helene?” Jennifer asked.
“Don’t think of it as kidnapping,” she replied, “think of it as a test of your skills. I’m not asking you to get Alex out of prison right away, I first want to see if you can find Steve. If you can find Steve, then I know you can help Alex. He did warn me about those bracelets he wears so we will allow him to keep those on. I am surprised there was only one tracker on him, and in his belt no less, not very original and easy to remove. Considering all of the inventions Steve has told me about, I’m sure your inventors could do better. Steve asked to talk with his cat Snow.”
“Snow, come here please,” said Jennifer. “About now she is sliding across the library floor and should be bumping into Jennifer’s foot right now,” I said to Helene. “She just came sliding across the floor and bumped into my foot,” said Jennifer as she picked up Snow. “Oh my, she is a beautiful little cat,” said Helene. Snow began to purr right away in response. “Meowy, meow, meow, mew, meowy,” I said to Snow. Meowy, meowy, mew, mew, meow! Snow responded and Jennifer put her down on the floor again. We all said good bye at that point and Helene said she would stay in touch.
“Is that some kind of secret code for Jennifer?” asked Helene, “And after I was being so nice to you.” “I was talking only to Snow, not to Jennifer,” I said, “it is not a secret code.” “I’m not sure if I should believe you or not Steve,” said Helene, “but for now I will. Please do not try to trick me though. I know my way of getting you here was not the best, but I could hardly come to your chateau and expect to leave again. I am wanted by the police in several countries, including France where you live, so I need to be careful.”
“We have had criminals come to our chateau before,” I told her, “and I have allowed them to leave.” “Even murderers?” she asked, “I have killed people Steve and you know it, and not just through my men, I have done it myself.” Oddly enough she had tears when she said that, but she got up and went into the living room before I could say anything. I then followed her and sat down on a chair. “As I said, you may have the freedom of the house,” she reminded me, “but please don’t try to go outside, my men will stop you and they may get a little rough. Just a fair warning.”
“Warning heard,” I said, “I will behave and stay indoors.” She didn’t say anything more except to say there was a tablet on the table beside me with games on it which I could use, but it has no internet connection on that one. I don’t think she fully trusts me. She is a hard one to figure out, I wonder what relationship Alex is to her…
To Be Continued. ©2026 Steve McLeod.